Corrections · 6
The dark side of maximizing profits in capitalism.
Ah, before (writing / I start), it's quite a difficult topic to write about. But there's not much to write about. This is an informal writing (essay / piece / article ...) so all things everything I'll write about are is just my personal opinion.Moral Hazard or inhumanity. There are two ways to compete in capitalism. The first is "differentiation" and the second is "low cost". Differentiation could be made (by / through) research and development (R&D)*. So They (can) make things different from other products. Low costs could also be (made / achieved) (by / through) R&D, like, with an improved process. But "low cost" is can also be accomplished by using cheap materials or making something "too" efficient(ly). For example, construction companies could use a low cost strategy by using cheap and bad materials. Or we can just (think about / consider) how we raise chickens and cows. We raise chickens in a cage (in which / where) they can barely can move. Chickens are killed in (only / just)** 6 weeks because it gives the best profits. Within 6 weeks chickens grow completely so big enough to eat***. If you raise them longer than that, it'll cost money. So we just kill them.
Capitalism is a good motivation for people to work hard, but if we're blind for the money and only follow it, it'll destroy us someday.
- Just too long about chicken :)
* When writing about technical topics such as this, it's usually common to write the full term (e.g 'research and development') and then follow it with the abbreviation ('R&D'). But this does depend on your audience too :)
** You can add 'only' or 'just' to add emphasis here if you wish.
*** I think this is what you wanted to say:
Within 6 weeks, chickens are fully-grown so are big enough to eat.
Moral Hazard or inhumanity. There are two ways to compete in capitalism. First "Differentiation" second "Low cost". Differentiation could be made by R&D. So they make things different from other products. Low cost could also be made by R&D, like, with an improved process. But "Low cost" is also accomplished by using cheap materials or making something "too" efficient. For example, construction companies could use low cost strategy by using cheap and bad materials. Or we can just think about how we raise chickens and cows. We raise chicken in a cage in which they barely can move. Chickens are killed in 6 weeks because it gives the best profits. Within 6 weeks chickens grow completely so big enough to eat. If you raise them longer than that, it'll cost money. So we just kill them.
Capitalism is a good motivation for people to work hard, but if we're blind for the money and only follow it, it'll destroy us someday.
Very nice writing. Keep it up!
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