Essay. Upbringing. Emphasize cooperation or competition in yongsters
Question:
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Answer:
Some would argue that it is preferable for parents to teach their children to be competitive, while others believe that collaboration is a better way to make their sons and daughters positive members of society. While having a competitor's mentality can help a future job seeker, I believe emphasizing cooperation is a better option because it lets children acquire useful social skills.
On the one hand, encouraging a sense of competition in the young goes a long way of preparing them for future hardships of looking for work. Finding work is often hard these days. Some job openings have a long list of candidates who have to show why they are more worthy to get it than others. That is why being good at winning competitions can help a young person secure such positions. For example, a recent study in Canada has confirmed this idea by showing that people who self-identified as being very competitive reported a lower unemployment rate than the general population. However, I think that overly competitive people do not make good friends or work colleagues, which makes them less happy.
On the other hand, teaching children to collaborate rather than fight ensures that they learn valuable rules of social interactions. To cooperate, children have to find common ground and negotiate. These activities require a lot of communication, which improves their skills in this domain because the more you do something, the better you become at it. For example, a survey conducted in Australia in 2015 has found that young adults whose upbringing focused on cooperation have had fewer divorces than the national average. I believe having well-developed social skills leads to far greater life satisfaction than being in a constant fight mode.
To conclude, although raising a child to be competitive can ensure he will be employed in the future, I believe such people are less satisfied with their lives, that is why emphasizing cooperation is more important.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 2
1
Shit dude, you should be seriously proud of your progress in acquiring English; I've read waaaaaay worse compositions by native speakers in uni. I've changed a few words that make it flow a bit better, but there are no actual mistakes other than your use of the present perfect instead of the preterite in the final paragraph. I've also switched two of your verbs to the subjunctive from the indicative—the subjunctive is becoming less and less relevant even in formal writing, but I think that it important to retain its correct usage.
Some would argue that it is preferable for parents to teach their children to be competitive, while others believe that collaboration is a better way to make their sons and daughters positive members of society. While having a competitor's mentality can help a future job seeker, I believe that emphasizing cooperation is a superior option because it allows children to acquire useful social skills.
On the one hand, encouraging a sense of competition in the young goes a long way toward preparing them for future hardships of looking for work. Finding work is often hard these days. Some job openings have a long list of candidates who have to show why they are more worthy to get it than others. That is why being good at winning competitions can help a young person secure such positions. For example, a recent study in Canada showed that that people who self-identified as "very competitive" reported a lower unemployment rate than did the general population. However, I think that overly competitive people do not make good friends or work colleagues, which can make them less happy.
On the other hand, teaching children to collaborate rather than fight ensures that they learn valuable rules of social interaction. To cooperate, children must find common ground and negotiate. These activities require a lot of communication, which improves their skills in this domain—after all, the more you do something, the better you become at it. For example, a survey conducted in Australia in 2015 found that young adults whose upbringing focused on cooperation had fewer divorces than the national average. I believe that having well-developed social skills leads to far greater life satisfaction than being in a constant state of conflict.
To conclude, although raising a child to be competitive can ensure he will be employed in the future, I believe such people may be less satisfied with their lives, and for this, emphasizing cooperation is more important.
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