PLEASE CORRECT ME !!!! Job Application Dear Sir, My name is Andrew. I am living in Rockford Road and doing my masters in Illinois University. I am Looking for some part time job. I saw your advertis

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PLEASE CORRECT ME !!!! Job Application Dear Sir, My name is Andrew. I am living in Rockford Road and doing my masters in Illinois University. I am Looking for some part time job. I saw your advertisement in Dice news papaer and found that you are looking for Shop keeper in this holiday season. I have around 8 months experience in walmart. I worked in local walmart store as a store assistance. I have very good experience working with customers and I do have very unique skill, which is I can speak Spanish, French and Arabic very fluently. Hope this ability will help your business as well. However I love to face customer interaction, it's different experience every day. I pretty much impresseed with the employee reviews about City Museum. I heared working with City museum is one of the best experience. Looking forward to hear from you. Yours Respectfully,

Corrections · 5

PLEASE CORRECT ME !!!! Job Application

Hello,

My name is Andrew. I am living in ... Rockford Road (city you live in, not your street) and completing my Masters at Illinois University.

I am looking for a part-time job.
I saw your advertisement in Dice Newspaper and found you are looking for a Shopkeeper this holiday season.

I have about eight months of experience working in Walmart and worked in a local Walmart as a store assistant.
I have extensive experience working with customers, and I have a unique skill: I can speak Spanish, French and Arabic fluently. I feel that this would assist your business, as well.

One thing I love about customer interaction is it's a different experience everyday. Also, I am very impressed with the employee reviews regarding City Museum. I heard working with City Museum is one of the best experiences.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Lovely! I made corrections to make it sound much more professional as well as spelling, grammer, etc.

At the beginning, instead of saying you live on Rockford Road, say which city you live in.

At the end, I love "Looking forward to hearing from you." However, I changed it from "hear" to "hearing," which is the grammatically correct way of saying the phrase! :)

Also, did you mean "store assistant" or that you "worked in store assistance?"

If you worked in store assistance, the sentence should be, "worked in a local Walmart in store assistance."

My best wishes in getting the job!

Please comment back if anything is unclear or you have questions!

PLEASE CORRECT ME !!!! Job Application

Dear Sir,

My name is Andrew. I am living on Rockford Road and doing my masters in Illinois University. I am looking for some part time job.
I saw your advertisement in Dice newspaper and found that you are looking for Shopkeeper in this holiday season.

I have around 8 months experience working in Walmart. I worked in a local Walmart store as a store assistance. (Store Assistant?)
I have very good experience working with customers and I do have very unique skill, which is I can speak Spanish, French and Arabic very fluently. I hope this ability will help your business as well.

While I love to face customer interaction, it's different experience every day. I am very impressed with the employee reviews about City Museum.
I heard working with City museum is one of the best experiences.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours Respectfully,

Great job Andrew! Just a few minor mistakes. I added some "I am" and "I" and changed some of the wording to make it sound a little more professional. I hope you get the job!

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