In my experience of learning and teaching languages, confidence is a big factor. I think that what you are describing has to do with this. I would suggest to not put pressure on yourself. Learning a language happens by absorption, perhaps a lot more than you might think. If you are immersed in hearing the language first and foremost, then you will absorb a lot, without the constant effort that you are describing. This is because it is not just the mind that is involved in learning a language (or anything for that matter). To develop a feel for the language is what helps to bypass hindrances to learning, I have found. It makes sense: to learn anything, we first need to listen. By repetition and immersion (films, music, whatever..), an overflow is eventually created. By itself, the language will start to come out. This doesn't mean that you will suddenly be fluent, but you will experience this as having the confidence to begin speaking without worrying about the outcome so much. I am not suggesting to stop studying, merely to let it be ok that you feel reserved about speaking. It is a plus point, not a negative. I would keep the studying part enjoyable, and for the rest, I would focus on exposing myself to hearing the language as much as possible. All the best.