A Lack of Confidence

It's hard for me to properly pronounce the words in a foreign language that I want to use in a conversation whenever I speak with random and unknown people. That’s because I feel very uncomfortable: I’m not confident in my ability and I feel very insecure. However, once I get pass that stage, I magically become more fluent, and I am able to pronounce my words correctly.

Moreover, I even lose my accent, and I am seemingly unable to feel embarrassed anymore. As if by magic, I freely and naturally become part of the conversation and can discuss almost anything. Except, perhaps, of course, those conversations which require more than a passing knowledge of the subject!*

Hi AiryMeow. Good job! Whatever changes that I’ve made were merely done to allow your sentences to sound more natural to my native ears, to flesh out your thoughts a bit, for ease of reading, and to impart a little humor. I hope that this helps you. J.

*The evil twin of a lack of confidence is a fear of rejection. That seems to be what is inhibiting you since once you accept or realize that the other person will not judge you, you then speak freely. You are young, so that is a universal and understandable situation, however, realize that you need to overcome this fear in order to improve.

This fear applies to anything—learning English, singing in public, playing sports, etc.—so simply accept that you will make mistakes and, in spite of what you feel and think, it will not be the end of the world. Until you are willing to accept that you will make mistakes, you will never be able to learn from them, or pass beyond that stage. Thus, have a little faith in yourself, and realize that not only does practice make perfect, it will also improve your self-confidence.

If anyone laughs at you or does something else that makes you feel embarrassed, you should realize that the shortcoming is in their character, not with anything that you’ve done as you are just a beginner in that activity. Rather than becoming defensive and allowing yourself to feel ashamed, I’ve found that the best response to that is to simply smile, recognize your mistake, and join in with their laughter. That’s being positive, that’s an acceptance of reality, and that’s being an adult.

Regardless, I would bet that if you diligently apply yourself to speaking out loud for the next 3 months, ignoring your fears, and not allowing yourself to feel embarrassed, you will quickly gain the self-confidence that you desire. Best of luck!