Ielts Writing Practice
Can you help me check for grammar and vocabulary errors?Please！
Some people hold the view that the age is the most crucial factor affecting shopping decision's making.I believe that although the age plays an important role,the income and the sex are more significant during the process of deciding what to buy.
I accept that purchase decision is influenced by the age.As age grows,people's needs and wants keep changing.For example,young children spend all thier pocket money on toys and snacks,while young adults are fashion chasers saving money for months to buy a Chanel handbag.When in thier sixties or seventies,they would have stopped shopping and the only thing they would pay for is their health.
Nevertheness,I would argue that the income is more important in people's purchase decisions' making.This is because people's incomes completely decide what they can afford.And people are not likely to buy something they cannot afford.For instance,it is impossible for a low-income family to buy a Rolls-Royce,unless they are truely crazy.In addition,the differece in buying habits between males and females is tremendous.Females prefer beautiful clothes and fancy cosmetics,while a swiss watch may be males' preference.
In conclusion,deapite the impotant influence of the age,the income and the sex are more crucial which affect our shopping decisions.
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Corrections · 8
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Ielts Writing Practice
Can you help me check for grammar and vocabulary errors? Please！Some people hold the view that the age is the most crucial factor affecting shoppers decision making. I believe that although the age plays an important role,the income and the sex are more significant during the process of deciding what to buy.
I accept that the decision to purchase is influenced by the age.As people grow, their needs and wants keep changing. For example, young children spend all thier pocket money on toys and snacks,while young adults are fashion chasers, saving money for months to buy a Chanel handbag. When in thier sixties or seventies, they would have stopped shopping and the only thing they would pay for is their health.
Nevertheness,I would argue that the income is more important in people's purchasing decisions'. This is because people's incomes completely decide what they can afford. And people are not likely to buy something they cannot afford. For instance, it is impossible for a low-income family to buy a Rolls-Royce, unless they are truely crazy. In addition, the differece in buying habits between males and females is tremendous. Females prefer beautiful clothes and fancy cosmetics, while a Swiss watch may be a males' preference.
In conclusion,deapite the impotant influence of the age, income and sex are the most crucial factors which affect our shopping decisions.
Some nice work but some repeated mistakes with 'the'.
Well done
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When in thier sixties,they would have stopped shopping.
When they are in their sixties, they will stop shopping. - When is an adverb of specific time (e.g. at 7 o'clock), not a longer period of time such as - till, untill, by sixties, since, before, after, all day long, for many years - and therefore I think that a simple tense is needed. Or:
By their sixties, they will have stopped shopping.
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Can you help me check for grammar and vocabulary errors?Please！ Some people hold the view that age is the most crucial factor affecting shoppers' decision making. I believe that although age plays an important role, income and gender are more significant during the process of deciding what to buy. As they get older, people's needs and wants change. For example, young children spend all thier pocket money on toys and snacks, while young adults are fashion chasers and save money for months to buy a Chanel handbag. When in thier sixties or seventies,they will have stopped shopping and the only thing they will pay for is their health. Nevertheness,I would argue that income is more important in people's purchase decisions' making.This is because people's incomes completely decide what they can afford. And people are not likely to buy something they cannot afford. For instance,it is impossible for a low-income family to buy a Rolls-Royce,unless they are truely crazy. In addition,the differece in buying habits between males and females is tremendous. Females prefer beautiful clothes and fancy cosmetics,while a swiss watch may be a male's preference. In conclusion,despite the impotant influence of age, income and gender are more crucial in affecting our shopping decisions.
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