My first entry
There comes a time in one's life when everything starts to go south. You overcome one obstacle after another in a hope that this might be the finish line but life has a way of telling you that it is is nothing but an endless marathon filled with obstacles and that everyone is stumbling, falling, standing and racing. The clouds of despair drench you in misery and you succumb to sorrow and pity. You start believing your whole life has been about failure one after another, you doubt your ability of perseverance. In a time like this, it is very easy to set aside and forget the things you have accomplished. The moment of joy you had. The things you are good at. Everybody accomplishes something. Everyone has some moments they cherish. The things they are good at despite how seemingly unimportant and minute they think their talent might be. What about the last time you overcome the challenge and look at it with a positive outlook: a lesson learned, what about that time when you took care of a person battling with life, the time you survived an illness, that time when you have the courage to start a business or help someone achieve their goal or showing empathy to the person in need or raising a kid. There are plenty of good things you have done in your life and you have plenty of good thing coming your way. One just got to find the determination and new perspective from within. I heard someone say "If you don't like where you are right now just imagine where you want to be". You can either treat life as a tragedy and self-harm or cry through it or you can look at it as a comedy and enjoy the fun part just a little bit more and then it just might happen that the finish line may appear just a little bit closer.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 3
0
My first entry
There comes a time in one's life when everything starts to go south. You overcome one obstacle after another in hopes that this might be the finish line. However, life has a way of telling you that it is is nothing but an endless marathon filled with obstacles, and that everyone is stumbling, falling, standing and racing. The clouds of despair drench you in misery, and you succumb to sorrow and pity. You start to believe that your whole life has been about failure one after another; you doubt your ability of perseverance. In a time like this, it is very easy to set aside and forget the things you have accomplished: the moment of joy you had and the things you are good at. Everybody accomplishes something. Everyone has some moments they cherish, such as the things they are good at, despite how seemingly unimportant and minute they think their talent might be. What about the last time you overcame a challenge and looked at it with a positive outlook - a lesson learned. What about that time when you took care of a person battling with life, or when you survived an illness? What about that time when you had the courage to start a business, or helped someone achieve their goal, or showed empathy to the person in need or raising a kid? There are plenty of good things you have done in your life, and you have plenty of good things coming your way. We just got to find the determination and a new perspective from within. I heard someone say, "If you don't like where you are right now, just imagine where you want to be". You can either treat life as a tragedy and self-harm or cry through it, or you can look at it as a comedy and enjoy the fun part just a little bit more; and then it just might happen that the finish line may appear just a little bit closer.--
Comments:
Some of your sentences were run-on sentences (a bit too long). You can simply avoid these types of sentences by adding pauses in your sentences (by using commas) or by making your sentences shorter. I modified some of your sentences to make them flow better. Overall, good work and keep it up!
-Katherine
0
My first entry
There comes a time in one's life when everything starts to go south (smooth). You overcome one obstacle after another in a hope that this might be the finish line but life has a way of telling you that it is is nothing but an endless marathon filled with obstacles and that everyone is stumbling, falling, standing and racing. The clouds of despair drench (drives) you in misery and you succumb to sorrow and pity. You start believing your whole life has been about failure one after another, you doubt your ability of perseverance. In a time like this, it is very easy to set aside and forget the things you have accomplished. The moment of joy you had. The things you are good at. Everybody accomplishes something. Everyone has some moments they cherish. The things they are good at despite how seemingly unimportant and minute they think their talent might be. What about the last time you overcome the challenge and look at it with a positive outlook: a lesson learned, what about that time when you took care of a person battling with life, the time you survived an illness, that time when you have the courage to start a business or help someone achieve their goal or showing empathy to the person in need or raising a kid. There are plenty of good things you have done in your life and you have plenty of good thing coming your way. One just got to find the determination and new perspective from within. I heard someone say "If you don't like where you are right now just imagine where you want to be". You can either treat life as a tragedy and self-harm or cry through it or you can look at it as a comedy and enjoy the fun part just a little bit more and then it just might happen that the finish line may appear just a little bit closer.Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
