When love had been bygone
I never want to say it too straightly about my love to you. just you and me know about it, everyone knows it. It is ok!
You were doomed to a part of my life when the destiny opened the door and put you before my eyes. Since we were chose by fate, after, it was bitter or sweet, tearful or joyful, just let it go.
Did not see it as a sudden impulse about my love, even if so it was, it was also because some valuable traits on you deeply shook and moved me. Even though I had known about your flaws, I never tried to distinguish them.
Something had happened .the facts indeed so, at first ,it was bitterly miss, then more deeply miss, in the end, I was done up. I was so tired during the journey, almost be crazy, even if now I recalled these , I still could not help to praising them for my difference experiences
I know that a story has to be written by other ways!
Just go, to be with me, you will just suffer .believed that one will be the happy you looking for. He has more ability to pet you, protect you, take care of you. You just go crudely! Do not turn back your head to see me, your mercy will just hurt my self-pride much more. As for me, still want to watch the familiar and strange view stay in original place.
The moment of the memory is so sweet that I can recall it all my life, bet I have never the moment so worth cherishing, do you also think so like me?
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 2
0
When love is gone.
I never wanted to speak about my love for you. If just you and I understood it, then it did not matter if anyone else knew.
Our relationship was doomed. (you do not explain why it was doomed in this paragraph, in fact, you write all about how it was Not doomed and was a Great relationship. so this sentence confuses the reader because of its inconsistency. It would be better if you kept this paragraph positive and then wrote negative stuff in other paragraphs.)
It occured during a part of my life when destiny opened a door and put you before my eyes. We were chose by fate, and after a bittersweet romance, we let each other go.
I did not see my love as impulsive. Many valuable traits of yours deeply moved me; and even though I saw your flaws, I never emphasized of them.
But something happened, and the problems it caused tired me out and drove me crazy in the process.
I know that this story has to be written out in its entirety!
If you are to be with me, you will just suffer. I believe that someone else will provide the happiness that you are looking for. He is more capable of protecting you and taking care of you. So leave and do not turn your face back towards me, your mercy will just hurt my pride. Leave, as I will watch the you.
The our moments together were so sweet, that I continue to recall them throughout my life. I think they are the times I cherish the most, do you also think the same way?
I think that people have not corrected your entry because. It is very hard to correct emotional outbursts that are trying for a poetic affect because no one but you understands how you are feeling and any change another person makes to your writing, will also change the feelings that you are trying to express. I am familiar with poetry and it often contains fragments of thoughts and feelings that make absolultely no sense whatsoever. And only the writer understands the true meaning to his outburst. These fragments can not be corrected because they were intended to be expressed in an unconventional manner.
If you want people to correct your work you must write something that people are able to correct. Prose, short stories, simple diary entries and so on.
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
