Mark Zuckerberg
The level of formality is fairly low as the language is neither too formal or too informal, hence it can be considered standard, or even colloquial. Zuckerberg also addresses the audience frequently in his speech, which also builds a connection with the audience as well as encourages them to take action. Additionally, he also manages to elevate his ethos, as he appeals to trust, shared values, and the importance of joint actions. Moreover, the us of pathos is also palpable in the speech. This is, for instance, particularly apparent as he mentions the case of the undocumented, whose only birthday wish was a copy of a book about social justice.
Zuckerberg incorporates witty comments on several occasions throughout the speech,for instance; "If I get through this speech, it’ll be the first time I actually finish something at Harvard." and "(...)let’s face it, you accomplished something I never could.". Here he shows humility by giving the graduates credit and a sense of success which also increases the audience's receptiveness. Moreover, it establishes a bond between Zuckerberg and the audience.
The main idea is primarily centered around the topic of finding, not only one's own purpose, but also creating a sense of purpose for everyone else. Moreover, Zuckerberg argues that the idea synergy gives purpose, in other words; being a part of something bigger that oneself creates meaning to life. Zuckerberg supports this idea by referring to a specific incident that occurred in 1962; “One of my favorite stories is when John F Kennedy visited the NASA space center, he saw a janitor carrying a broom and he walked over and asked what he was doing. The janitor responded: “Mr. President, I’m helping put a man on the moon”"
To conclude, Zuckerberg's speech can be considered fairly successful as it is relevant to the audience, who is about to step into the real world, which consequently can lead to queries about life purpose. He reminds them that real purpose is found in unity and helping other people.
It is reasonable to assume that a number of the graduating attendees will come successful in their field, and thus have a certain potential to make a change on a bigger scale. Therefore, this speech can be a factor that encourages them to actually do that if needed. Moreover, his arguments are valid and the speech is easily understood, as it is is simply constructed with an idea and a language that is not too complex.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 4
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I cannot imagine why anyone would ever consider anything Mark Zuckerberg had to say on any occasion. Facebook, like Google, is a fad company based on the simplest of technologies and the happenstance of popularity. Anything even vaguely interesting that has dripped out of the billions of dollars they have been flooded with could have been achieved in any number of more socially-productive ways and the harm these companies have done society will not be fully comprehended by most for many years. As for anything resembling "work", any computer-oriented twelve year old could make Facebook. But as the story goes Mark Zuckerberg isn't even as competent as such a twelve year old because he ripped someone off for the whole thing.
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To conclude, Zuckerberg's speech can be considered fairly successful as it is relevant to the audience, who is/are about to step into the real world, which consequently can lead to queries about (their) life's purpose. (I
like "are" better here because the audience is made up of people plural
and they are not stepping into the so-called real world as a single
audience. Don't get me wrong though. Harvard is not the real world and
no one who goes to Harvard ever sets foot in anything that could be
referred to as "the real world.") He reminds them that real purpose is found in unity and helping other people. (Right,
or ripping someone off for some simple web idea and then making
billions? doing nothing socially productive at all but instead studying
people like rats and selling their souls to the highest bidder be it
marketing firms or the government. Oh right, but that's what Harvard is
all about: saying one thing and doing another.)
It is reasonable to assume that a number of the graduating attendees will become successful in their fields, and thus have a certain potential to make a change (in the world) on a bigger scale. (I don't think so. If you to go to Harvard, you're an evil person. They won't let you in otherwise. Seriously. If you go to Harvard you're not capable of anything that could actually be called "success" and you don't have a "field". If you go to Harvard, you will spend the rest of your life lying and screwing over the poor from the comfort of your expensive house and your expensive sports car. And if you really screw over enough people and lie to yourself and others enough, then you can make silly speeches about "making a difference" and "doing you're part" when all you've done your whole life is look out for yourself and rip off others.) Therefore, this speech can be a factor/motivation that encourages them to actually do that if needed. (Actually "a factor in encouraging them to" sounds a little better. Or "a factor in motivating them to actually do that" "if needed" is unnecessary, no pun intended. What is "if needed" doing in the sentence? To say that something can be "a factor" in something else, etc., means it's already just one part and just a possibility. "if needed" sounds strange and weakens the sentence. Actually "Therefore" is also a little unnecessary. It's not like there's a chain of reasoning here and you're summing it up at the end with "Therefore,". This is just an observation regarding the potential usefulness of the speech. But I take your point. If I was an evil person who had just graduated from Harvard, hearing a lying scumbag moron like Zuckerberg lie about "making a difference" and "being part of something" after making billions doing absolutely nothing and maybe even harming society in multiple ways,... well, hearing such a speech would be just the encouragement I would need to believe I could go forth into the world, harm society, and as long as I could lie, I could make billions just like Zuckerberg.) Moreover, his arguments are valid and the speech is easily understood, as it is is simply constructed with an idea and a language that is not too complex.("idea"... do you mean "ideology"? This is, as with earlier, a strange use of the word "idea". Maybe "simply constructed around a positive theme and with clear, effective language" ... I would drop it actually entirely... "as it is simply constructed with language that is not too complex." "a language" can also sound more like an actual language rather than referring to word choice, etc.. so dropping the "a" is good. But I feel sure that Zuckerberg has no arguments to make about anything, let alone that his arguments would be valid.)
It is reasonable to assume that a number of the graduating attendees will become successful in their fields, and thus have a certain potential to make a change (in the world) on a bigger scale. (I don't think so. If you to go to Harvard, you're an evil person. They won't let you in otherwise. Seriously. If you go to Harvard you're not capable of anything that could actually be called "success" and you don't have a "field". If you go to Harvard, you will spend the rest of your life lying and screwing over the poor from the comfort of your expensive house and your expensive sports car. And if you really screw over enough people and lie to yourself and others enough, then you can make silly speeches about "making a difference" and "doing you're part" when all you've done your whole life is look out for yourself and rip off others.) Therefore, this speech can be a factor/motivation that encourages them to actually do that if needed. (Actually "a factor in encouraging them to" sounds a little better. Or "a factor in motivating them to actually do that" "if needed" is unnecessary, no pun intended. What is "if needed" doing in the sentence? To say that something can be "a factor" in something else, etc., means it's already just one part and just a possibility. "if needed" sounds strange and weakens the sentence. Actually "Therefore" is also a little unnecessary. It's not like there's a chain of reasoning here and you're summing it up at the end with "Therefore,". This is just an observation regarding the potential usefulness of the speech. But I take your point. If I was an evil person who had just graduated from Harvard, hearing a lying scumbag moron like Zuckerberg lie about "making a difference" and "being part of something" after making billions doing absolutely nothing and maybe even harming society in multiple ways,... well, hearing such a speech would be just the encouragement I would need to believe I could go forth into the world, harm society, and as long as I could lie, I could make billions just like Zuckerberg.) Moreover, his arguments are valid and the speech is easily understood, as it is is simply constructed with an idea and a language that is not too complex.("idea"... do you mean "ideology"? This is, as with earlier, a strange use of the word "idea". Maybe "simply constructed around a positive theme and with clear, effective language" ... I would drop it actually entirely... "as it is simply constructed with language that is not too complex." "a language" can also sound more like an actual language rather than referring to word choice, etc.. so dropping the "a" is good. But I feel sure that Zuckerberg has no arguments to make about anything, let alone that his arguments would be valid.)
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Mark Zuckerberg
The level of formality is fairly low as the language is neither too formal nor/or too informal;/, hence it can be considered standard, or even colloquial. Zuckerberg also addresses the audience frequently in his speech, which also builds a connection with the audience as well as encourages them to take action. ("also" is in the beginning of the sentence, you don't need it here, it sounds strange.) Additionally, he also manages to elevate his ethos, as he appeals to trust, shared values, and the importance of joint actions.("additionally" and "also" is redundant.) Moreover, the use of pathos is also palpable in the speech. This is, for instance, particularly apparent as he mentions the case of the undocumented, whose only birthday wish was a copy of a book about social justice. (What is "the undocumented"? Is that a person or a book? The name of the case? Or is it "the undocumented case of a person whose only...")Zuckerberg incorporates witty comments on several occasions throughout the/his speech. For instance: "If I get through this speech, it’ll be the first time I actually finish something at Harvard." and "(...)let’s face it, you accomplished something I never could."(I think you could also do "throughout the speech; for instance, ". Typically periods are before the quote with quotes and you don't need an additional period after. The person said "Hello.") Here he shows humility by giving the graduates credit and a sense of success which also increases the audience's receptiveness. Moreover, it establishes a bond between Zuckerberg and the audience.
The main idea/theme (of Zuckerberg's/his speech) is primarily centered around the topic of finding, not only one's own purpose, but also creating a sense of purpose for everyone else/others. ("theme" is better than "idea" here... it's a graduation speech apparently, there's no real "idea" that can be referred to... "others" is probably better than "everyone else" because of the "else". For instance, compare the sentence "Despite his display of false humility, he thought he was better than everyone else for no real reason.") Moreover, Zuckerberg argues that the idea that synergy gives purpose, in other words; being a part of something bigger than oneself creates/gives meaning in/to life. ("creates" goes with "in" better, "gives" goes with "to" better.) Zuckerberg supports this idea by referring to a specific incident that occurred in 1962; “One of my favorite stories is when John F Kennedy visited the NASA space center, he saw a janitor carrying a broom and he walked over and asked what he was doing. The janitor responded: “Mr. President, I’m helping put a man on the moon”" (There is no way that this isn't a made up story and I think Zuckerberg isn't stupid enough to not know that. Who would really imagine that the president would go up to a janitor at all, let alone ask him the ridiculous question of "what are you doing", let alone receive the way too clever answer for an uneducated janitor of this clearly fabricated quote.)
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Mark Zuckerberg
The level of formality is fairly low as the language is neither too formal or too informal, hence it can be considered standard, or even colloquial. Zuckerberg also addresses the audience frequently in his speech, which also builds a connection with the audience as well as encourages them to participate. take action. Additionally, he also manages to elevate his ethos, as he appeals to trust, shared values, and the importance of joint actions. Moreover, the "us" of pathos is also palpable in the speech. This is, for instance, particularly apparent as he mentions the case of the undocumented, whose only birthday wish was a copy of a book about social justice.Zuckerberg incorporates witty comments on several occasions throughout the speech,for instance; "If I get through this speech, it’ll be the first time I actually finish something at Harvard." and "(...)let’s face it, you accomplished something I never could.". Here he shows humility by giving the graduates credit and a sense of success which also increases the audience's receptiveness. Moreover, it establishes a bond between Zuckerberg and the audience.
The main idea is primarily centered around the topic of finding, not only one's own purpose, but also creating a sense of purpose for everyone else. Moreover, Zuckerberg argues that the idea of synergy gives purpose, in other words; being a part of something bigger than oneself creates meaning to life. Zuckerberg supports this idea by referring to a specific incident that occurred in 1962; “One of my favorite stories is when John F Kennedy visited the NASA space center, he saw a janitor carrying a broom and he walked over and asked what he was doing. The janitor responded: “Mr. President, I’m helping put a man on the moon”"
To conclude, Zuckerberg's speech can be considered fairly successful as it is relevant to the audience, who is about to step into the real world, which consequently can lead to queries about the purpose of life. He reminds them that real purpose is found in unity and helping other people.
It is reasonable to assume that a number of the graduating attendees will become successful in their field, and thus have a certain potential to make a change on a bigger scale. Therefore, this speech can be a factor that encourages them to actually do that if needed. Moreover, his arguments are valid and the speech is easily understood, as it is is simply constructed with an idea and a language that is not too complex.
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