[ 185 Pieces Of Cutting Of The Mango in Kaohsiung, Taiwan.(8)]
Would you mind correcting my essay? If you were me, how would
you go about writing it?
Which part should I describe in detail? I hope my explanations are clear. I hope you can understand this.
I had a plate of pieces of cutting of Mango
at some store in Kaohsiung, Taiwan. I forgot where it was located. The store served a variety of cutting of fruits and a variety of flavors of shaved ice.
Surely, I had one for $4 and sat down on the outside of a table. A woman cut for easy to eat for me.
I’ve never had these cutting of the fruits at the store in Japan. It was so impressive and fresh.
My best favorite fruits is Mango. I like Mango snacks and Mango flavors of foods as well.
Do you like Mango ? How often do you eat them?
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Corrections · 7
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[ 185 Pieces Of Mango Cutting Of The Mango in Kaohsiung, Taiwan.(8)]
Would you mind correcting my essay? If you were me, how would you go about writing it? Which part should I describe in detail? I hope my explanations are clear. I hope you can understand this. Perfectly said.I had a plate of pieces of cutting of Mango at some store in Kaohsiung store which, Taiwan You don't have to repeat since you explained where is Kaoshiung in the title. I forgot where it was located. The store serves You cannot use past tense here because it means it no longer serves it. a variety of cutting of fruits and a variety of flavors of shaved ice flavors.
Surely, I had one for $4 and ate alfresco sat down on the outside of a table. A woman had cut for easy to eat it for me. I’ve never had these cutting of the fruits at the from any store in Japan. It I was so impressed by the ive and freshness of the fruit.
Mango is my best favorite fruits is Mango. I like all things mango -- Mango snacks and Mango flavored of foods as well.
Do you like Mango ? How often do you eat them?
You need to vary the structure of your sentences to make your essay interesting. It is like a storytelling. I am sure you know Japanese stories being told verbally in the old days for entertainment. They use the same kind of techniques.
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I'll go through sentence by sentence and point out your mistakes and how to correct them
"I had a plate of pieces of cutting of Mango at some store in Kaohsiung, Taiwan.
The English word for cut pieces is "slice", mango should not be capitalized and replace "some" with "a". Corrected sentence: "I had a plate of sliced mango at a store in Kaohsiung, Taiwan."
"I forgot where it was located."
The sentence is past tense so "forgot" should be "forget" but the store still probably exists in the present so "was" should be "is". Corrected sentence: "I forget where it is located."
"The store served a variety of cutting of fruits and a variety of flavors of shaved ice."
Once again we must use the word "slice". Also, sing "variety" twice is redundant. Corrected sentence: "The store served a variety of sliced fruits and flavors of shaved ice."
"Surely, I had one for $4 and sat down on the outside of a table."The word "Surely" doesn't really make sense here. You have stated that the store sells both fruit and shaved ice and therefore you need to clarify what you bought instead of saying "one". In English, a person doesn't sit "on the outside" of a table, we simply sit "at" a table. Corrected sentence: "I had a mango for $4 and sat down at the table."
"A woman cut for easy to eat for me."
Once again you must use the word "slice". Corrected sentence: "A woman sliced it to make it easier for me to eat."
"I’ve never had these cutting of the fruits at the store in Japan."
Corrected sentence: "I've never had sliced fruit at a store in Japan."
"It was so impressive and fresh."
This is a good sentence.
"My best favorite fruits is Mango."
"Favorite" and "best" are redundant. "Fruits" should be singular. Don't capitalize mango. Corrected sentence: "My favorite fruit is a mango."
"I like Mango snacks and Mango flavors of foods as well."
This sentence is good just don't capitalize mango. Corrected sentence: "I like mango snacks and mango flavors of foods as well."
"Do you like mangoes? How often do you eat them?"
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[ 185 Pieces Of Cutting Of The Mango in Kaohsiung, Taiwan.(8)]
Would you mind correcting my essay? If you were me, how would you go about writing it? Which part should I describe in detail? I hope my explanations are clear. I hope you can understand this.I had a plate of pieces of cutting of Mango
at some store in Kaohsiung, Taiwan. I forgot where it was located. The store served a variety of cutting of fruits and a variety of flavors of shaved ice.
Surely, I had one for $4 and sat down on the outside of a table. A woman cut for easy to eat for me for me so that it was easy to eat.
I’ve never had these cutting of the fruits at the store in Japan. It was so impressive and fresh.
My best favorite fruits is mango. I like mango snacks and mango flavors of flavored foods as well.
Do you like Mango ? How often do you eat them?
"cutting of fruits/cutting of mango" sounds a bit awkward in English. I would probably say something like "pieces of fruit/pieces of mango"
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