Academic writing: About computer problems
Nowadays, We are very depend on many sort of computers.
In an office, hospital, school, on a road.. everywhere.
Obviously, computers make our lives better but on the other hand, I feel that a human life is going to be lost.
I mean as a human, we have a ability to live relying on ourselves. For example, we used to use an abacus to calculate.
People who learnt how to use an abacus, can calculate in their head using imaginary abacus.
However, now It is not so popular to learn how to use it or I would say it is going to be disappear because we have a calculator including smart phones.
In my opinion, You will have a benefit to keep doing what we can do ourselves.
When I get lost, I would have some information about which I don't know how to deal with and It's easy to confirm using devices but when I asked the road to people who I don't know. This is a chance to know more information or might be friends.
That's an advantage as well.
In conclusion, I am afraid in the future, you might be able to do everything without using your own power.
I would say computer make our lives better but we should not forget how much we can do by ourselves.
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Corrections · 16
1
(5) “When I get lost, I can easily find my way again using devices such as smartphones, but asking strangers allows me to acquire new information I may not have known about. It also provides me with the opportunity to make new friends.” 「迷ったら、スマホみたいな機器を使って簡単に道を見つけるけど、他人に聞くことを通じて自分が知らなかった新しいことを分かります。友達になる機会も与えてくれます。
know – すでに知っている
get to know – 分かるようになる
*note*: 知っているとﾌﾝかっているはニュアンスが含まれていることのせいで直接英和翻訳がないからちょっと紛らわしいかもしれません。すみません。
(6) What you are afraid of is not the fact that it MIGHT happening, but the fact that it WILL happen. 怖がっていることは、その状態になる可能性ではなくて、その状態になることかな。
1
(3) “widely learned skill” - 「よく学んでいる技ではない」
It may not be popular, but nowadays it’s more because it’s not
taught （確かに人気ではないかもしれませんが、それより現代教われていない。
(4) You’re giving an example of a calculator. It may sound
weird because “including” is used represent a subset of something, but phones
aren’t a subset of calculators in the same way chocolate is a subset of candy
or Japanese is a subset of ethnicity. Sorry I can’t really explain this one
super good.
例を挙げるから「携帯みたいな計算機」”on” - 携帯に載っているから 。”Including” はグルプの一部を表す言葉けど、携帯は計算機のタイプであるながら、チョコは飴のグルプの一部や日本人は人類の一部のように、その機械の部分集合ではありません。すみませんちゃんと説明できなくて。。。
1
ぐちゃぐちゃになってすみません。いっぺんに入力しなくて、順番がバラバラになった。でも分かって参考になれれば嬉しい。
1
Academic writing: About computer problems
Nowadays, We are very dependent on many sorts of computers.In an office, hospital, school, on a the road.. everywhere. (1)
Obviously, computers make our lives better but on the other hand, I feel that we as humans will lose ourselves. (2) a human life is going to be lost.
I mean as a human, we have a the ability to live relying on ourselves. For example, we used to use an abacus to calculate.
People who learnt how to use an abacus, can also calculate in their head using an imaginary abacus.
However, now It is not so popular to learn how to use it or a widely learned skill and (3) I would say it is going to be disappear because we have a calculators including on things like smart phones. (4)
In my opinion, You we will have a benefit by keep doing what we can do ourselves. (または "by relying on our own power")
When I get lost, I would have some information about which I don't know how to deal with and It's easy to confirm using devices but when I asked the road to people who I don't know. 「＜－？」 This is a chance to get to know more information or might be become friends. (5)
That's an advantage as well.
In conclusion, I am afraid in the future, you might will be able to do everything without using (または relying on) your own power. (6)
I would say computers make our lives better but we should not forget how much we can do by ourselves.
0
説明（した方が分かりやすいから一応やっています。日本語は上級なので間違いがあればすみません)：
(1) "the" → specific (特定のことに指す時に使う）
"a" → ambiguous (もうちょっと曖昧のことに指す時に）
You are grouping ALL the roads together and representing it as a whole. When using "the" it is assumed that the reader knows exactly what you are talking about ("the" - その映画 vs. "a" - ある映画) 「世界中の道路は一つの事にしている。"the"を使う時に大体疑問がないし、聞き手は何が指されているかはっきりわかっている。」
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