An email draft

This is an email that I am going to send to my fellow students. Could you please check its tone and expressions? Thank you.

Dear fellow Asian Studies students,

Welcome everyone to a new semester !

My name is XXX, and I serve as the student representative for all of the PhD students in Asian Studies this semester. My duty is to collect feedback concerning your experiences studying and developing at our university.  Later, I will forward and present  your opinions to the  university staff,  discuss your ideas  with them, and help tackle any problems you may have in order to benefit you more.

Please share your ideas and  questions about academic support issues, learning,  research , pastoral support, facilities and community topics with me.  I encourage you to feel free to contact me at any time as I am more than happy to assist you on all these topics and issues.  My  Facebook contact is (XXX), my  email contact is xxx, or  please meet me in person, whichever suits you is great !!

Thank you for reading, I look forward to meeting you,  and good luck with your semester!

Best wishes,
XXX

-----  The letter you wrote is near perfect except for the corrections Philip made.  However, as an academic writer,  I simply changed the style to how I would have written it to give you a perspective on how I,  as a native English speaker would have written it.  So my changes are more about style than actually correcting any specific errors. The letter as written is very good... 

An email draft

This is an email that I am going to send to my fellow students. Could you please check its tone and expressions? Thank you.

Dear all,

I hope this email finds you well.

My name is XXX, and I serve as a student rep representing all the PhD students in Asian Studies this semester. My duty is to collect feedback concerning your experiences studying and developing at our school and our university. Later, I will advance forward your opinions to university staff, negotiate with them, and help tackle problems to benefit you more.

Therefore, if you feel like sharing ideas or bringing up questions about academic support, learning and research, pastoral support, facilities and community, or more, please contact me. Facebook contact (XXX), dropping me emails, or meeting in person, whichever suits you will be great!

Thank you for reading and good luck with your semester!

Best wishes,
XXX