Review orf K-pop and memoryMemories

I like listening to American pop music (instead of Kpop) , but I was surprised (and glad) to see BTS, a Korean boy group, participate in the AMAs.

Just three months ago, I was a soldier in the Korean Aarmy.
We're were only had interested in the girl groups, Bbecause we are all maen.

but we saw a show of BTS with dancing and singing by BTS.

Honestly, we still weren't interested in the group, because the group is all boys!

We were only interested in girl groups, because we're all men, so when we saw BTS give a performance, we weren't particularly interested in the group, because the group is all guys!

But Even so, we're were charmed by their dancing and other attractive things.
So we stayed until the end of the show.

But even so, we were impressed by their dancing and other aspects of their performance, so we stayed until the end of the show.

And then I was discharged by the Army. but I want to see their show that attractive dancing and good voice.

Even after I was discharged from the Army, I still wanted to see them again, because of their excellent singing and dancing abilities.

After I was discharged from the Army.
I saw another of their show where BTS performed in the Ellen show.

I even saw a show where BTS performed in The Ellen Show. 

I was shocked because BTS took the photo with Marshmallow and Carmela who sang the Havana.

I was shocked because BTS took photos with Marshmallow and Camila Cabello, who sang Havana.

Recently, I saw a video which is broadcast by the Pew-Di-Pie.

Recently, I even saw a PewDiePie video that mentioned BTS.

The obvious thing is, such a world,
I must study English more than before.

Obviously, in this multicultural world, I guess I should study English even more than before!

I guess It is one of my motivation why I am studying English and other languages.

This is one of my motivations to study English, in addition to other languages.

Thank you !!

Review or K-pop and memory

*but I wanted to...?

**I did not understand this paragraph.

***I did not understand this sentence.

very well written but a little hard to understand in parts.

Review or K-pop and memory

Honestly, we still weren't interested in the group, because the group is all boys!

Even so, we're charmed we were impressed by their skilled dancing and other attractive things strong vocals, so So we stayed until the end of the show.  {boys don't usually use "charmed" or "attractive" to describe other boys}

And then I was discharged by the Army. but I want to see their show that attractive dancing and good voice.

After I was discharged from the Army, I was still curious about BTS and I saw another of their shows where BTS they performed in on the Ellen Show.

I was shocked because BTS took the a photo with Marshmallow and Carmela who sang the Havana.

Recently, I saw a video which is was broadcast by the Pew-Di-Pie.

The obvious thing is, such a world,
I must study English more than before. Apparently, in such a globally connected world, I must study English more than ever before.

I guess It this is one of my motivations for why I am studying English and other languages.

Thank you !!

--I was very excited to watch BTS here in the States on the AMAs and The Ellen Show!!  Americans, especially the younger generation, seem to be more open to foreign language now.

--Very good job on your English, Jae Seong!!