Could you please correct my essay?
The enormous development that the twenty-one century has witnessed is hugely significant. Hence, thanks to the technology, many people believes that it gives them more free time than the past. Although I believe that the state of art technology has made our life much easier and saves us more time, to agree or disagree with this statement depends on several factors, as will now be presented.
Modern society has become characterized by its facilitating technology that has a major impact on our lives in several ways. For instance, the progress of transportation systems makes it easier for workers to travel, also there are a large number of them having their own cars. Consequently, the spend little time to commute to their work places than in the past. Additionally, many jobs, nowadays, could be achieved online inside the home. Moreover, the majority of companies use computes to collect and save the important data and they can easily restore them. All the previous factors explain why the technology has saved us more free time.
Granted, it could be argued that the revolution of technology we witnessed has accompanied by economic inflation. Many people describe the current era as a materialistic life. In some places, many people have to work extra time in order to increase their monthly income and to meet the current challenge. Therefore, they have just little free time to spend with their families and friends. In contrast, it is agreed that the modern technology has a beneficial influence on those people who have well-paid jobs.
To conclude, the recent technology has a positive impact on our life. However, the effect it has on people's free time could vary for several reasons, as previously mentioned.
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Corrections · 2
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The Twenty-First century has witnessed enormous development that has been greatly significant [add here what it has been significant to]. Thanks to the technology, many people believe that it gives them more free time than in the past. Although I believe that the state of art technology has made our life much easier and saves us more time, to agree or disagree with this statement depends on several factors. Modern society has become characterized by creating technology that has had a major impact on our lives in several ways. For instance, the progress of transportation systems makes it easier for workers to travel, as well as a large number of them having their own cars. Consequently, workers spend less time commuting to their work places than in the past. Additionally, nowadays many people people are able to work from home online. The majority of companies use computers to collect and save important data and which they can easily restore. All the previous factors explain why technology has saved us more free time. Granted, it could be argued that the revolution of technology we witnessed has accompanied by economic inflation. Many people describe the current era as a materialistic life. In some places, many people have to work extra time in order to increase their monthly income and to meet the current challenge. Therefore, they have just little free time to spend with their families and friends. In contrast, it is agreed that the modern technology has a beneficial influence on those people who have well-paid jobs. To conclude, the recent technology has a positive impact on our life. However, the effect it has on people's free time could vary for several reasons, as previously mentioned.
Great work. The one big thing I would change is your use of connectors. Using words like "Additionally", "Therefore", "Conseqently" are all great but when you use them at the start of most sentencea it becomes too much.
ممتاز. انا اصفة انه هذا من الاسيوع الماضي. ما شفتها حتى هلق!
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