I described an experience I had with beauty.

I am going to describe my experience with (You describe about something, but you have an experience with something.) illustrations.

I like painting illustrations with my iPad because I have (You're talking about the fascination you have.) a lot of fascinations with (Wrong preposition.) digital illustrations.

Of course, there are various good points of (Wrong preposition.) paintings drawn (1. to write＝字を描く2. to draw＝絵を描く) with digital tools and paintings drawn with a paper and inks. However, paintings drawn with digital tools enable me to paint illustrations more fabulously (Add -ly to form adverbs.) than drawn with a paper and ink (You cannot count ink, so ink cannot be plural.). For example, I can make my illustrations lighten (Incorrect tense. 1. lightened＝past tense of to light 2. lighten (verb) = To become brighter/happier e.g. He lighten up when given a cookie.) and more vivid (Spelling.) with my iPad.

In addition, even if I make a mistake, I can erase the wrong part (Incorrect word choice.) immediately. By drawing digitally, (Vague phrase.) I was able to win (Need to indicate that drawing digitally allowed you to win.) a prize in an illustration contest. I was so happy that I will always remember this. (1. to remember＝keep something in mind. You can also say: I will always cherish this.)

Those are my experiences (Those is plural. So, experience should also be plural.) with beauty.

My Experience With the Beauty of Illustration

I am going to describe my experience about making illustrations using an iPad. I like making illustrations with my iPad because there is both a lot of interest toward, and fascination over, digital illustrations. Of course, there are various differences—some good and some bad--between those illustrations which are created with digital tools and those which are created with paper and ink.

However, pictures made with digital tools enable me to create illustrations that are more astonishing than those made with paper and ink. For example, not only can I make my illustrations subtler, their lines fainter, but also they seem more vivid when using my iPad. In addition, if I make a mistake, I can immediately and easily erase it.

Using this process, I have even won a prize in an illustration contest. I was so happy and proud of myself that I couldn’t think of anything else at that moment!

This has been my experience with the beauty of iPad illustrations.

Hi Kasumi! Good job! Whatever changes I’ve made were done to merely allow your sentences to sound more natural to my native ears, for clarity, and for ease of reading. Apologies if I’ve misinterpreted. I hope that this helps you. J.

As to your composition, I would not say that it is wrong as I understood everything that you wanted to tell me. However, I would say that you seem to be limited by your vocabulary, thus, your word choices, in constructing your sentences. So, my advice is simply to enlarge and improve your vocabulary so that the "correct" word can help you to convey your thoughts as simply as possible.