考试的翻译！请看一下然后修改！ 谢谢！

Before our dreams can come true , don't we have to dream ? Isn't there a good reason for dreaming ? After all , how can we travel any further than our dream ? how can we become any greater than our dream ? Author of 'As a Man Thinketh' , James Allen expressed the same idea , " Dream lofty dreams , and as you dream , so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

在我们的梦想实现之前，我们难道不能拥有梦想吗？难道我们没有足够好的理由去怀揣梦想吗？毕竟，我们要行驶多远才能超乎我们的梦想的疆界呢？我们要怎样用所不及才能得到超乎我们梦想所包含的伟大含义呢？"作为一个人思考"的作者–詹姆斯·爱伦表达了同样的想法，“梦想崇高，那么正如你梦想的那样，你的人生也将不同。你关于未来的承诺将书写你人生的版本；你的理想就是你最终将要揭开面纱的预言。”

May my translation be a little helpful to you. Sorry for i didn't translate literally.: )

Your translation is not bad at all and you have other good corrections already.  So I won't add my two cents but a few pointers since you may be doing translation to test your understanding of the target language.

1.  "To dream" in English has no negative implication by itself.  However, it Chinese, it can be. So instead of using 做梦, use 有梦 instead as you have in your first translation.

2. "Dream lofty dreams , and as you dream" Your translation is wrong. 梦想高远的梦想.  The first and the last "dream" are verbs while the 2ne one is a noun.  梦想 is a noun and translates as "idealism"/"dreaming".  Retranslating back into English can be either, "Dreams, O my lofty dreams" or "the dream of lofty dreams".  Most Chinese singular nouns can be used as verbs as well, just like in English.  "Lofty" here does not mean "literally high" but majestic, ambitious, towering (figurative) etc.  My suggestion would be, 梦中时, 梦巍峨/雄偉/崢嶸/偉大之梦

3. "作者对..." is translated wrongly.  It means you and not James Allen.  Also the official Chinese title of the book is "做你想做的人", though not for translation accuracy but as eye catcher to sell (another whole translation topic.  Subtitle translation is another different creature too).  However, your direct translation is OK since you don't have all that spare time like that Chinese translator had.

If this piece is an in class test, I give you an A-  for literal translation for structure, grammar etc. A higher grading if you didn't have these translation errors. 

Here's my suggested translation by meaning.

考试的翻译！请看一下然后修改！ 谢谢！

Before our dreams can come true , 梦未真成时, don't we have to dream? 我们就不梦嗎?  Isn't there a good reason for dreaming? 豈无好理由去梦嗎?  After all , how can we travel any further than our dream ? 总而言之, 怎样可把我们想像力超过梦境? how can we become any greater than our dream ? 何比梦更雄偉呢? Author of 'As a Man Thinketh' , "一人之思沉"的作者", James Allen expressed the same idea , " 也有这样表达, Dream lofty dreams , and as you dream , 梦中时, 梦巍峨之梦 so shall you become. 就此已成Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; 你的愿景, 是一日跃跳龍门之承諾, your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.你的理想就是预言面紗, 終被揭.

在我们的梦想实现之前，我们不是要做梦吗？做梦不是有好的理由吗？毕竟，我们怎样才能比我们的梦想更远呢？我们怎样才能变得比我们的梦想更伟大？作者对一个男人的沉思”，詹姆斯·爱伦表达了同样的想法，“梦想高远的梦想，和你的梦想，那么你将成为。你的梦想是你将来要做的事；你的理想就是你最终将要揭开的预言。

在我们的梦想实现之前，我们不是要做梦吗？难道做梦不是有好的理由吗？毕竟，我们要怎样（如何）才能走得比我们的梦想更遥远呢？我们要怎样才能变得比我们的梦想更强大？«对一个男人的沉思»的作者詹姆斯·爱伦表达了同样的想法:"梦想啊遥远的梦想，当你有梦想，那么你将成为（实现）。你的梦想是你将来要做的事，你的理想就是你最终要揭开的预言。"

Feel free to ask me if you have further questions. :)