Corrections · 7
Fast Food
Fast food is becoming a permament part of the eating habits of people in many countries. One can understand why this situation is like this, since these meals are cheap and easy to get. Moreover, they are generally high in fats, and for this reason, tastier.Nevertheless, fast food is also very unhealthy if one consumes it too often. Thus, when one eats significant amounts of junk food, the consequences for the body become noticeable. For instance, overweight, heart problems or higher levels of cholesterol.
Therefore, if people could not decide to have a balanced diet by themselves, one could surmise that governments should take responsibility in order to take care of their citizens' health. However, the implementation of new measures on_unhealthy food might not be enough.
Although, the policy of increasing fast food prices may discourage some people from buying it, some positive measurements can also be performed. To illustrate it, one could visualize supermarkets or small grocery stores with many more_options of fruits and vegetables. That is to say, that governments should invest more in order to bring a variety of natural food instead of some processed products. If people had more options to choose from, then maybe some fruits may become more appealing than fries.
Additionally, it is relevant to mention that in order to have a healthy diet, nutritional education is also needed.
To conclude, I believe that governments should be involved in taking care of the health of their citizens and implementing new programs that help to improve their diet. However, it can acknowledge that the compromise of each person is also a key point to highlight. :)
Well done, this is a well-structured piece of writing. There is nothing too major to change.
You are overusing "in order to". Maybe change one to a because.
In this sentence
Although, the policy of increase fast food prices may discourage some people from buying it, some positive measurements can also be performed.
I would remove the , after Although.
I am not sure what you mean by positive measurements. I would look at rephrasing those words.
All the best
Rob
This is really well done. You're obviously quite advanced. I've made a few suggestions below. It also reads very formally, maybe too formally even for policy papers or op-eds (or what have you), but that could also be a reasonable stylistic choice. Anyway, well done!
Fast Food
Fast food is becoming an eating habit for people in many countries. One can understand why this situation is like this, due to the fact that these meals are cheap and effortless. Moreover, they are generally high in fats, and for this reason, tastier.Nevertheless, fast food is also very unhealthy if one consumes it too often. Thus, when one eats significant amounts of junk food, the consequences for the body become seeable. For instance, overweight, heart problems or higher levels of cholesterol.
Therefore, if people could not decide to have a balanced diet by themselves, one could surmise that governments should take responsibility in order to take care of their citizens' health. However, the implementation of new task on the unhealthy food might not be enough. (I don't understand that last sentence, so I can't correct it, but something is off there.)
Although, the policy of increased fast food prices may discourage some people from buying it, some positive measurements can also be performed. To illustrate it, one could visualize supermarkets or small grocery stores with many more many options of fruits and vegetables. That is to say, that governments should invest more in order to bring a variety of natural foods instead of some processed products. If people could have more options to choose, then maybe some fruits would become more appealing than fries.
Additionally, it is relevant to mention that in order to have a healthy diet, nutritional education is also needed.
To conclude, I believe that governments should be involved in the health of their citizens and implement new programs that help to improve their diet. However, it can acknowledge that the compromise of each person is also the key point to highlight. (Again, I don't totally understand that last sentence. English pronouns generally are understood to refer to the last noun of matching gender, but I'm guessing "it" refers to governments rather than diet? If so, you should say "they." I still don't understand what it means that the key point is to highlight the compromise of each person, though. Sorry!)
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