The Primary and secondary education is vital in a child’s growing up progress process (or simply, "...vital to a child's development). While I accept (you can also use the word 'understand') that education is beneficial for the younger generation, I disagree that all of them (I suggest using something different, but that is up to you) should be forced to receive the (I suggest adding an "a")full-time education.

Some people (you can also state, "Some may argue...") argue that young people (perhaps add a word like "children" or "adolescents" depending on the age group) should attend the school courses for some different reasons. The main reason defense (just adding a bit more variety for word choice) is that schools provide them with compulsory courses, as well as a variety of elective courses from which they can freely choose according to their personal needs or interests. These courses can equip students with knowledge and skills that are indispensable for their further education and makes them more employable for the future job market. If a student dropped out in of high school or even earlier, with little professional knowledge or practical skills, he or she would be unlikely to be offered a decent job, and thus lead a poor life. In other words (the word 'moreover,' would also work well here), education is essential to prepare young people the youth (again, just adding more variety) for a better life.

In spite of the reason given above (to maken it shorter, you can say, "In spite of this..."), I would still contend that not all young people under 18 should have a full-time education. The major drawback for requiring everyone to take school classes is that it can be a waste of time for a few youngsters (replace it with juveniles, minors or such to add more formality if you'd like) whose talents lie outside the school courses. It would be better for their future development to allow them to leave school and focus on the areas they are good at, such as hosting, music, and sports. Another point is that keeping these students in class may cause noises or even disturbance, since they are may be (easier to avoid assuming something that may be untrue) unwilling to learn.

In conclusion (or, "All things considered..."), I disagree with the argument that all the young people  minors (you can use this or use a different word) should not leave the school education until they reach the age of 18.

You did really well! I provided some alternate words or such to spice it up a bit or to add a formal tone should you like to go with that. Also, may I suggest elaborating more on your conclusion? It might help to present an idea to your viewers that will really make them think about your points. Just a friendly suggestion! Great job! :)

"full-time education" essay

The primary and secondary education is vital in a child’s development growing up progress. While I accept that education is beneficial for the younger generation, I disagree that all of them should be forced to receive the a (or the same) full-time education.

Some people argue that young people should attend the same school courses for some two reasons. The main reasons are that schools provide them with compulsory courses, as well as a variety of elective courses from which they can freely choose according to their personal needs or interests. These courses can equip students with knowledge and skills that are indispensable for their further education and makes them more employable for the future job market. If a student dropsped out in high school or even earlier, with little professional knowledge or practical skills, he or she would be unlikely to be offered a decent job and thus, therefore lead a poor life. In other words, education is essential to prepare young people for a better life.

In spite of the reason given above, I would still contend that not all young people under 18 should have a full-time education. The major drawback for requiring everyone to take school classes is that it can be a waste of time for a few youngsters young people whose talents lie outside the school courses. It would be better for their future development to allow them to leave school and focus on the areas they are good at, such as hosting, music, and sports. Another reason point is that keeping these students in class may cause a disturbance noises or even disturbance, since they are unwilling to learn.

In conclusion, I disagree with the argument that all the young people should not leave remain in school education until they reach the age of 18.

Youngsters is something your grandma says.