[My Trip in Sapporo City. 116]
Would you mind correcting my essay? If you were me, how would
you go about writing it?
Which part should I describe in detail? I hope my explanations are clear. I hope you can understand them.
(Part Eleven)
[The Historical Village of Hokkaido]
The place was opened in April 1983 with the objective of providing an experiential understanding of the lifestyle of the pioneer days and conserving the buildings representative of periodic cultures for posterity.
Everything in the village is an exhibit. The exhibits provide glimpses of the early days in Hokkaido, and of the wisdom and hard work of our forefathers.
I really like that. There are so many variety of exhibits buildings, houses and etc. you can feel different cultural background them, instead of Kyoto and Tokyo.
When I visit new city and places, I always try to see museums, art-museums and historical attractions.
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Corrections · 1
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[My Trip in Sapporo City. 116]
Would you mind correcting my essay? If you were me, how wouldyou go about writing it?
Which part should I describe in detail? I hope my explanations are clear. I hope you can understand them.
(Part Eleven)
[The Historical Village of Hokkaido]
The place was opened in April 1983 with the objective of providing an experiential understanding of the lifestyle of the pioneer days and conserving the buildings representative of periodic cultures for posterity.
Everything in the village is an exhibit. The exhibits provide glimpses of the early days in Hokkaido, and of the wisdom and hard work of our forefathers.
I really like that. There are so many variety varieties of exhibits: buildings, houses, and (the word "and" is not necessary when using etc) etc. You can feel different cultural backgrounds in them, instead of Kyoto and Tokyo.
When I visit new city cities and places, I always try to see museums, art-museums and historical attractions.
Note:
This is really well done! You were very easy to understand. Your content is interesting. I also LOVE the photo!
If I were writing this essay, I would start off this portion by saying, "The Historical Village of Hokkaido was opened in April 1983.....".
"There are so many varieties of exhibits: buildings, houses, etc." With this sentence, there are a few other options that can be used.
"There are so many varieties of exhibits, namely buildings, houses, etc." or "There are so many varieties of exhibits, such as buildings, houses, etc." I, personally, use "such as" more than "namely". I hope this helps!! :)
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