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Some thoughts about far away from home As we growing up, we all face some choices about our life. Choosing the location of your work or studying is one of the top priority of them, which would determine your whole life in a significant way, friends, environment, life style, character, adaptment, etc. Would you prefer to work or study near your home or parent, or prefer to choose a far-off place? For me, I choose the far one. And thereinafter are my reasons for this. Firstly, you can enlarge your field of vision by working or sdutying in other places where are always different from your hometown. Just imagine, how it would be exciting to experience various culture,custom and life style. Without a firsthand experience, it's hard to tell that sort of exact feeling and to gain the knowledge. Secondly, you will leave a vivid, colorful, wonderful and unforgettable memory in your life when you have such a much more dramatic life. You have some friends from different places, you share what you know about life with your friends, you go for sightseeing together... Lastly, you can be more independent by living yourself, far away from your parent. I can't agree with this opinion more! When I went to my university the first time, I just went by myself due to the extremely long distance to be a huge barrier for my parent to go with me. My classmates, most of them were local or not far from my university, were went with their parents. And they always asked their patents for help during the whole college time. Finally, after they graduated, some of my friends were so fear about working in another city, because they so relied on their parents! On all accounts, there are more advantages than disavantages to have a life or experiences in a place far away from home!

Corrections · 5

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Perhaps it is acceptable in Chinese but in English, you MUST leave a blank line after each new paragraph.  It is STANDARD practice.

Some thoughts about far away from home

As we growing up, we all face some 1 choices about our life. Choosing the location of your work or studying is one of the top priority2 of them, which would  will determine your whole life in a significantly way3: Choice of friendships, the kind of environment you are going to be in or the life styles you are going to pursue character, adaptment, etc. 4

Would you prefer to Work/study near your home or parent in a place closeby to your parents, or prefer to choose a far-off place? For me, I choose the far one5. My choice is for the latter.  And thereinafter are6 My reasons: for this.

Firstly, 5you can enlarge your field of vision by working or sdutying in other places where are always different from your hometown. Living in different places will enrich your life.  Just Imagine, just how it would be exciting it would be to experience various cultures,customs and life styles. Without a firsthand experienceexposure, it's hard to tell experience exactly that sort of exact feeling and to gain the knowledge.7

Secondly, 5you will leave a vivid, colorful, wonderful and unforgettable memory in your life when you have such a much more dramatic life. You have some friends from different places, you share what you know about life with your friends, you go for sightseeing together...  8Unforgetable memories of colorful and wonderful vividness will surely be left behind but more will soon to follow for you will be sharing a new life with different friends from different places.

Lastly, Finally you can be more independent by living yourself, far away from your parent will be asserting your independence by living far away from family. I can't agree with this opinion more! 9When I went to my the university for the first time, I just went by myself due to the extremely long distance to be a huge barrier for my parent to go with me. My classmates, most of them were local or not far from my university, were went with their parents. And they always asked their patents for help during the whole college time. Finally, after they graduated, some of my friends were so fear about working in another city, because they so relied on their parents!  my parents could not join me as it was too far and too inconvenient for them to come along.  Most of my classmates were from the local area and they relied on their parents all the time so that when they graduated, they were too afraid to work in another city.

On all accounts, There are more advantages than disavantages to have a life or experiences to experience life by living in a place far away from home!

1.  Redundant.  Choice means selection from a group.
2.  Top priority means the number 1.  There can be no 2nd top priority.  But you can say "some of the    priorities..."
3.  Or you can write, "...life in many significant ways..."
4.  One can adapt anywhere you are going to be and your character is already fixed although it can be influenced.  Regardless of what we think, it is getting too long in your sentence, too many similar ideas.  Your readers will understand what you are trying to convey.  Too many such description of the same type will bore your readers.
5.  English speakers prefer to use different words and rhythm to their writing except when it is for emphasis.  Here you are not emphasizing on anything, just a comment.
6.  You are not writing a business letter or a very formal essay.  You are writing an informal piece of creative commentary.  Refrain from using such archaic terms.
7.  You can gain knowledge whereever you live.  You are grasping straws in an effort to boost your rationale.
8.  You are getting long winded and pendantic - 畫蛇添足.
9.  There is no opposing view stated in your writing.  So leave this out.  It makes you become #8
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Some thoughts about working or studying far away from home

As we grow up, we all face some choices in our life. Choosing the location of your work or study is one of the top priorities for those, who would determine their whole life in a significant way, friends, environment, lifestyle, character, adaptment, etc.
Would you prefer to work or study near your home or parents, or prefer to choose a place far away? For me, I choose the last option. Here is my reason for this:
First of all, you can enlarge your field of vision by working or studying in other places that are always different from your hometown. Just imagine, how it would be exciting to experience various cultures, custom and lifestyle. Without a firsthand experience, it's hard to tell that sort of exact feeling and to gain the knowledge.
Secondly, you will get a vivid, colorful, wonderful and unforgettable memory in your life when your life is much more dramatic like that. You have some friends from different places, you share what you know about life with your friends, you go for sightseeing together...
Lastly, you can be more independent by living yourself, far away from your parent. I can't agree with this opinion more! When I went to my university the first time, I just went by myself despite the extremely long distance to be a huge barrier for my parent to go with me. My classmates, most of them were local or not far from my university, went with their parents. And they always asked their parents for help during the whole college time. Finally, after they graduated, some of my friends were so scared about working in another city, because they were relying on their parents!
So the final conclusion is, there are more advantages than disavantages to have a life or experiences in a place far away from home!

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"I can't agree more but I don't have the chance to leave my parents and live far away because my mother doesn't want me to study and work far. Especially my marriage."
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I can't agree more. But I hadn't the chance to leave my parents far away.Because my mother don't want me far away to study and work.Especially my marrage!

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