In the virtual world
According to what i know, when people living in the virtual world ,which will be more happier than in the real world because they suffer a lot of tough in the real world。
Along with the advance of the Internet,an increaseing number of people are depends on the Internet。But if you always indulge in the virtual world of the Internet,which will cause a string of problems on yourself。For example,more and more students andadolescent are addicted to the game virtual world ,which make them do not concentrate on study。Furthermore,some people because of addicted to the virtual world so that they have to crime 。
Although , the virtual world can make our feel happy ,comforable when weare suffering terrible things,if we come back to the real world which just have remained disappointed。Therefore,we should live inthe real world so that we can have a better life inthe future。
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In the virtual world
According to what I know, if people are living in a virtual world, they may be happier than in the real world because they suffer and have tough experiences in the real world. Along with the modern advancement of the Internet, an increasing number of people are depend on the Internet. If you over-indulge in the virtual world of the Internet, this may cause a string of problems for yourself. For example, more and more students and adolescents are addicted to virtual gaming worlds, which prevents them from concentrating on their studies. Furthermore, some people become so addicted to the virtual world that they begin committing crimes. Although the virtual world can make us feel happy and comfortable when we are suffering terrible things, coming back to the real world will remain disappointing. Therefore, we should live in the real world so that we can have a better life in the future.Nice work! The best areas for you to improve your waiting is in knowing when to end a sentence and create a new idea, rather than creating compound sentences or run-ons that are over complicated. Knowing when to use gerunds (-ing) and the right tenses will come with time, and you're off to a great start! I added some vocabulary that isn't necessary, but made the passage sound a little cleaner. If you'd like to book an English grammar lesson with me I'd be happy to help more and be your private teacher. Thanks!
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