Do entertainers deserve their substantial salaries? Any feedback would be highly appreciated. Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much mon

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Do entertainers deserve their substantial salaries? Any feedback would be highly appreciated. Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid? ------------------------ The amounts that people in the entertainment industry earn have always been a debatable issue. While some assert that entertainers are generally overpaid, I believe that they deserve their earnings and at the same time, I do support higher salaries for public servants. There are several reasons why I believe that sports stars, world-class actors, and other celebrities deserve their enormous salaries. Firstly, in order to be a top-rated sportsman, one has to undertake years of vigorous training, meaning that rather than having fun like the rest of young people, athletes often spend their precious youth years developing their talents. Secondly, some of the talents that certain musicians posses are extremely rare, and they receive huge fees because of these unique qualities. For instance, If anyone could sing like Adele, then her earnings would have been considered unreasonable. Finally, to successfully play their role in a movie, actors sometimes endure unbelievably harsh diets that may damage their health. As an example, Brad Anderson, the lead actor in a movie titled: The Machinist, had lost 20 kilograms of his body weight for the role he had in that movie. Having said that, I also believe that other professions should be paid considerable salaries. People such as health professionals whose jobs benefit every member of the society deserve higher incomes because their actions are vital for maintaining public health. Furthermore, teachers as a group of people who are considered underpaid in many parts of the world should be paid more. I believe that no one can deny teacher’s fundamental role in the education of young generations and therefore their payments should be compatible with the crucial service that they provide. In conclusion, while I agree with the huge sums of money that entertainers receive, I certainly support a rise in the salaries of public servants as well as any other professional whose job results in people’s wellbeing.

Corrections · 7

correction suggested improvement word order

In conclusion, while I agree that entertainers should receive huge sums of money, I would certainly support a general pay rise for public servants, as well as for any other professional whose job results in people’s wellbeing.

Notes

This was very well written and you have hardly any grammatical mistakes, but there are quite a few places where you are not quite expressing yourself with the right words, so you end up saying something different to what you really mean.

The statement in your opening paragraph is not quite right. The amounts that superstars are paid are not the debate. Everybody knows that they receive high amounts of money. It's common knowledge. Nobody is trying to argue "we don't believe that celebrities are paid big sums of money". That's not the debate. What is being debated is whether the celebrities deserve those amounts or not. However, the way you have worded it makes it sound as though people are not certain how much the celebrities are paid, and they are debating it to try to find out how much they are paid.

In your second paragraph you say "in order to become a sportsperson [singular] these individuals [plural] have to...." This makes it sound as though the individuals are all going to become one single combined person. That is not possible. What you mean is "in order to become sportspeople [plural]." Edit: oh, I see that you spotted your own mistake, and have now edited it while I was writing this! Well done. You seem to have changed the wording so that "these individuals" now reads "one".

In your penultimate paragraph, you say that you think that "professions" should be paid considerable salaries. That doesn't sound right to me, because a salary is paid to a person (not to a profession). You cannot pay a salary to a "profession" because a profession is not a person. A profession is a job. You don't pay the salary to the job; you pay the salary to the person who does the job. I hope you see what I mean.

Also, this sentence: "no one can deny teacher's fundamental role...and therefore their payments..." Did you mean "no one can deny a teacher's [singular] fundamental role" ? If so, then the plural possessive adjective "their" would be wrong, because there is only one teacher. You would have to say "his or her" instead of "their". (In informal contexts, we often use "their" as a substitute for "his or her" but that's not really appropriate in formal writing).

Alternatively, did you mean "no one can deny teachers' [plural] fundamental role"? If so, then "their" would be correct, because there are multiple teachers.

In your last paragraph, you have said that you agree with the huge sums of money that entertainers receive. This statement doesn't quite make sense. "To agree with" and "to agree that" are not the same thing. If I say "I agree with you" it means "I share your opinion". So if you say "I agree with the money" it sounds like you are saying "I share the money's opinion".

The money doesn't have an opinion. You don't agree with the money. What you mean is that you agree that the money should be paid to the entertainers.

Alternatively, if you want to use "with" as your preposition, you could say that you agree with the notion / with the idea that the money should be paid to the entertainers.

Hope this helps.

Do entertainers deserve their substantial salaries?

Any feedback would be highly appreciated.

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money.
Do you agree or disagree?
Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?
------------------------
The amounts that people in the entertainment industry earn have always been a debatable issue. While some assert that entertainers are generally overpaid, I believe that they deserve their earnings and at the same time, I do support higher salaries for public servants.

There are several reasons why I believe that sports stars, world-class actors, and other celebrities deserve their enormous salaries. Firstly, in order to be a top-rated athlete sportsman , one has to undertake years of vigorous training, meaning that rather than having fun like the rest of their peers. young people Athletes often spend their precious adolescent youth years developing their talents. Secondly, some of the talents that certain musicians posses are extremely rare, and they receive huge fees because of these unique qualities. For instance, If anyone everyone could sing like Adele, then her earnings would have been considered unreasonable. Finally, to successfully play their role in a movie, actors sometimes endure unbelievably harsh diets that may damage their health. As an example, Brad Anderson, the lead actor in a movie titled: The Machinist, had lost 20 kilograms of his body weight for the role he had in that movie.

Having said that, I also believe that other professions should be paid considerable salaries. People such as health professionals whose jobs benefit every member of the society deserve higher incomes because their actions are vital for maintaining public health. Furthermore, teachers as a group of people who are considered underpaid in many parts of the world should be paid more. I believe that no one can deny a teacher’s fundamental role in the education of young generations and therefore their payments should be compatible with the crucial service that they provide.

In conclusion, while I agree with the huge sums of money that entertainers receive, I certainly support a raise in the salaries of for public servants as well as any other professional whose job results in people’s well being.

Just made a few updates, but well written overall! Keep up the good work.

correction suggested improvement higher register word order

Whether or not people in the entertainment industry deserve the high amounts that they earn has always been a debatable issue. While some assert that entertainers are generally overpaid, I believe that they deserve their earnings, yet at the same time, I also support the idea of higher salaries for public servants.

There are several reasons why I believe that sports stars, world-class actors, and other celebrities deserve their enormous salaries. Firstly, in order to become [a] top-rated sportspeople, these individuals have to undertake years of vigorous training, meaning that rather than having fun like the rest of young people, they often spend the precious years of their youth honing their talents. Secondly, some of the talents that certain musicians posses are extremely rare, and the huge fees they receive are a reflection of these unique abilities. For instance, if anyone else could sing like Adele, then her earnings would have been considered unreasonable. Finally, to successfully play a demanding role in a movie, actors sometimes endure unbelievably harsh diets that may damage their health. As an example, Brad Anderson, the lead actor in a movie titled "The Machinist", had lost 20 kilograms of his body weight to play that particular role.

Having said that, I also believe that people in certain other professions should be paid considerable salaries. People such as health professionals, whose jobs benefit every member of the society, deserve higher incomes because their services are vital for maintaining public health. Furthermore, teachers (as a group of people who are considered underpaid in many parts of the world) should also be paid more. I believe that no one can deny the fundamental role that teachers play in the education of the young generation and therefore their payments should be on a par with the crucial service that they provide.

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