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Italy flagGiovanni
is there someone who can help me with this?TOEFL ind. task, please give me a feedback (from 0 to 5) It is well known that physical and mental health is important for students, that’s why I agree with spending money to student’s sports activities which help them to live a better life during those important years. As we all know, sports is important for health. Students are the grater amount of time seated at their desk for studying, the universities should give them the opportunity to do some outdoor activities. Doing sports is the better way to prevent a lot of physical disease. It is important to promote them in the students environment. In addition, Physical activities help to free our mind and relax. Nowadays, more people go to university. There is more competition, another factor that increment the state of anxiousness on student as well as the other traditional factors. As a result, students get sick easier: doing sports could help them to reduce the level of anxiety. For example, a university could build a gym near students’ campus, this can help them to take a break from the studies, go to gym, and then return to their book with more energy. The character of a person isn’t only built by books and lessons, but more with social activities like team sports. Universities should invest money on organizing tournament or championship. taking part these event helps student to make new friends and learn to compete with other people. There are also a lot of thing we can learn from sports that we can applicate at work such as team working and other social skills. In conclusion, to make grater the students life at university is important to invest money not only on education, build library or buy books, but also on sports. (if someone knew the grade of judgment of toefl examiner, I would be happy to know how much he/she would give me)

Corrections · 5

1

It is well known that physical and mental health are important for students. That is why I agree with spending money on students' sports activities, it helps them to live a better life during critical years.
As we all know, sports are important for health. Students spend a great amount of time seated at their desks, for studying. The universities should give them the opportunity to do more outdoor activities. Playing sports is a good way to help prevent a lot of physical diseases. It is important to promote physical activity within the students' environment. In addition, physical activity helps to free our minds and relax.
Nowadays, more people go to university. There is more competition amongst students, which is a factor that increases their state of anxiety on student as well as other traditional factors. As a result, students get sick easier; playing sports could help them to reduce their level of anxiety and thus, help them stay healthy. For example, a university could build a gym near the campus. This can help them to take a break from their studies, go to gym, and then return to their books with more energy.
The character of a person isn’t only built by books and lessons, but also by social activities, like team sports. Universities should therefore invest money in organizing tournaments or championships. Taking part in these events helps students to make new friends and learn to compete with other people. There are also a lot of things we can learn from sports that we can apply at work, such as teamwork and other social skills.
In conclusion, to improve the lives of students at university, it is important to invest money not only in academia, build library or buy books, but also on sports as well.

*I don't know how the test is graded/scored, so I won't be much help there. Some of my edits were more of a suggestion (i.e. grammatically correct, but would be better written another way). Best of luck!

0
It is well known that physical and mental health is important for students, that’s why I agree with spending money to on student’s sports activities which can help them to live a better life during those important years. As we all know, sports is important for health. Students spend a great amount are the grater amount of time seated at their desk for studying; the universities should give them the opportunity encourage them to do some outdoor activities. Leading an active lifestyle prevents physical illnesses and keeps a healthy mind; hence it is good to promote it to students.Doing sports is the better way to prevent a lot of physical disease. It is important to promote them in the students environment. In addition, Physical activities help to free our mind and relax.

In the increasingly competitive environment university students face, stress levels naturally increases as well. Doing sports will be helpful in managing external and mental stress. Nowadays, more people go to university. There is more competition, another factor that increment the state of anxiousness on student as well as the other traditional factors. As a result, students get sick easier: doing sports could help them to reduce the level of anxiety. One of the ways the university could facilitate healthy living is to For example, a university could build a gym near students’ campus, this can help them to take a break from the studies, go to gym, and then return to their books feeling refreshed. with more energy. The character of a person isn’t only built by books and lessons, but more with social activities like team sports. Universities should invest money on organizing tournaments or championships. Taking part in these events help students to make new friends and learn to compete with other people. There are also a lot of things we can learn from sports that we can are applicate at work, such as, team working and other social skills. In conclusion, to create a holistic university environment for the students, grater the students life at university it is important to invest money on not only on educational facilities, build library or buy books, but also on facilities for sports.

I would give this a 3

General comments: you are clear of your arguments which are good, nice expressions but do see a lack of vocabulary. Grammar is good, but require minor corrections.

(if someone knew the grade of judgment of toefl examiner, I would be happy to know how much he/she would give me)

0
thanks!! you're right, I should focus on write plural and singular correctly at first... I usually leave 3 minute for reviewing, I will try to be faster on writing the essay the next time, maybe it's better less words...
0
Hi, I will not add to the ladies' corrections, but I would like to grab your attention to some of your most common mistakes (grammatical that you have to pay attention to: - "Help" doesn't need TO before the next verb: I'll help you find a better solution, so no TO after HELP - You never use the articles "a, an, the" before nouns so review some lessons/practices about it - You sometimes mix singular and plural as when you wrote "anxiousness on student " and "to student’s sports activities " ...... so practice some exercises about that But all in all your composition is coherent, I would give you 3 marks on this, and probably you can increase it to 3.5 pretty easily by correcting your grammar.... now the vocab and richer ideas through more practicing will get you to the 4 points, in my opinion ( regardless of the time and tension issues :-) Good luck Gio

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