an old bat was trying to squeeze herself into an overfilled bus.
I was looking through Google Translate synonyms to find a word to refer to an old woman in a disrespectful manner. And I found a few: old bat, crone and old bag. Fascinating, isn't it?
Anyway, on my way to work I stood on a bus station and when the bus, thank God, arrived it was already stuffed with random folks. I was pushed into the bus by a force of the people behind me and stood quite uncomfortably near a guy who constantly coughed in my direction. oh boy.
It's not the end. On the next stop, the doors swung open to let the people out whilst a new wave of longing people to get to work was standing near the doors making it quite difficult to get out.
Once the bus is filled up to its maximum capacity, an old bag pushed her way onto the last step of the bus stairs. And then we...were stuck. The bus driver couldn't close the door because it kept bumping into this old woman. All of the people got annoyed and started throwing disapproving looks at her direction. The driver was getting, even more, angrier because the public transportation for old people are completely free, and he wouldn't get a dime by giving her a ride.
I personally wasn't late at that time but savored the moment when the driver called that bat such words that reduced that woman to crying.
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Corrections · 6
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an old bat was trying to squeeze herself into an overfilled bus.
I was looking through Google Translate synonyms to find a word to refer to an old woman in a disrespectful manner. And I found a few: old bat, crone and old bag. Fascinating, isn't it?Anyway, on my way to work I stood on at a bus station and when the bus, thank God, arrived it was already stuffed with random folks. I was pushed into the bus by a the force of the people behind me and stood quite uncomfortably near a guy who constantly coughed in my direction. Oh boy.
It's not the end. On the next stop, the doors swung open to let the people out whilst a new wave of longing people longing to get to work was standing near the doors making it quite difficult to get out.
Once the bus is was filled up to its maximum capacity, an old bag pushed her way onto the last step of the bus stairs. And then we...were stuck. The bus driver couldn't close the doors because it kept bumping into this old woman. All of the people got annoyed and started throwing disapproving looks at in her direction. The driver was getting, even more, angrier because the public transportation for old people are iscompletely free, and he wouldn't get a dime by taking her a ride.
I personally wasn't late at that time but savored the moment when the driver called that bat such words that reduced that woman her to crying. tears.
Well written! Just one thing: saying "I stood at a bus station on my way to work" doesn't sound like it's part of your journey, more like it's something you stopped to do in the middle- maybe I would replace it with "to get to work, I went to the bus station".
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The old bag should just say to the driver: "Dude, would you give a ride to a bag of old bones?" After such words the heart of that toughie would soften and he would say in a polite way: "You, mold, climb up and let us go!"
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*'even more angier' sounds weird. 'even more angry' or 'even angrier' would be better grammar. I'd probably say 'The driver was further irked because senior citizens are entitled to ride for free, and the city coffers wouldn't get a dime for all this nuisance.'
*that reduced the woman to tears.
The narrator seems a bit sadistic, I must say! He takes such pleasure in the tears of others.
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