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Bachelor party Our company held a bachelor party for employees two days before the Chinese valentine's day . I am going to go there , I thought I would eat the cake , drink the wine and enjoy the others dance, the best result is to meet someone who I liked , but everything is different from my thought . There is a foreign coming to me, he said : are you busy now , I was so nervous that I didn’t hear what he said , I thought he was asking me if there is someone sited the position next to me , so I stood up and gave way to him , he said no , no ,no , I felt very embarrassed .In the following conversation with him I was tongue-tied and didn’t know how to express in English . Throughout the night I said most complete two sentences are my name is Hu and because I am shy .I was hit deeply at that night , so I made a decision ,I will practice my oral English very hard.

Corrections · 3

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Bachelor party

Our company held a bachelor/ singles  party for employees two days before
the Chinese valentine's day . I am going had planned (it is in the past after all) to go there , I thought thinking I would eat the cake , drink the wine and enjoy the others' dancing, with the best result/a possibility is to meet of meeting someone who I liked , but everything is was different from my how I had thought .
There is A foreigner came up coming to me, and he said : are you busy now?, I was so nervous that I didn’t hear what he said , I thought he was asking me if there is someone sitting in the position next to me , so I stood up and gave way to him , he said no , no ,no , I felt very embarrassed . In the following conversation with him I was tongue-tied and didn’t know how to express myself in English . Throughout the night I said at most two complete
two sentences: are 'my name is Hu' and 'because I am shy' .I was hurt deeply at that night , so I made a decision ,I will practice my oral English very hard.

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Bachelor party

Our company held a bachelor singles' party for employees, two days before ago, the on Chinese Valentine's Day.  I am going decided to go there ,. I thought I would eat the some cake, drink the some wine and enjoy the others dance,.  The best result is would have been to meet someone who I liked, but everything is was different from my to what I thought.

There is a A foreigner coming came to me, and he said, : "Are you busy now at the moment?"., 

I was so nervous that I didn’t hear what he said. , I thought he was asking me if there is someone sited sitting in the position  seat next to me, so I stood up and gave way my seat to him. , But, he said, "No, no, no."

, I felt very embarrassed.  In the following conversation with him, I was tongue-tied and didn’t know how to express myself in English. Throughout During the night, I said, at most, complete two complete sentences: are "My name is Hu", and because "I am shy." 

I was hit deeply at deeply affected by that night, so I made a decision, that I will practice my oral English very hard.

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文章写得很好!你的英语能力不错。请注意:

1、符号。我觉得你最要注意的是,英语的符号。英语的符号非常重要。

2、文法。 “the”、“a”、“some” 的用法有点难。在你写的文章,如果写“eat the cake”、“drink the wine”,这就听起来是你想去吃全部的食物、喝全部的酒。所以,应该写“some”,意思是 “一点”。

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Bachelor party

Our company held an bachelor office party (a 'bachelor party' is for the groom before his wedding) for employees two days before
the Chinese Valentine's Day . I am going to figured I would go there. I thought I would eat the cake, drink the wine and enjoy watch the others dance. The best result that could happen would be is to meeting someone who I liked. But everything is went different from my what I thought. 
There is A foreigner coming came up to me, he said, "Are you busy?" now I was so nervous that I didn’t hear what he said. I thought he was asking me if there is was someone sited the position sitting next to me, so I stood up and gave way to him mine. He said, "No , no , no!" I felt very embarrassed. In the following conversation with him I was tongue-tied and didn’t know how to express my thoughts in English. Throughout the night I said at most two complete
two sentences, are "My name is Hu" and "...because I am shy." I was hit deeply at that night, (The phrase 'I was hit deeply' works here, but I would probably start the sentence, 'That night was a turning point for me,') so I made a decision, I will practice my oral English very hard a lot more. (It sounds more natural to practice more. You can also say work or study hard or harder.)


Great job! It seems like you had some difficulty keeping the correct verb tense throughout but I understood what you meant. You clearly have more English skills than to respond "My name is Hu"! Keep up the good work, you used some good descriptive words like "nervous" and "tongue-tied". I think all you need is a bit more practice!

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