Paragraph of a story
The creature took a deep breath of the dry air and looked at his hurt arm. The wound had healed. The fur was impregnated with blood, but there was not even a scar. He stood up. One more time the reindeers trampled the ground, a loud bleat leaving their mouths. A calling for help. A gruesome laughter left the monster-Santa mouth and the reindeers retreated, shrinking against the sled, looking for a place to hide. The creature look around, seeing the frightened animals, but it quickly ignored them when he found the bag left in the ground. He took it, throwing all the gifts to the floor. One of his hands with long nails looked in the pockets of the ripped off coat he was still wearing until they found a piece of paper.
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Corrections · 3
1
Paragraph of a story
The creature took a deep breath of the dry air and looked at his hurt arm. The wound had healed. The fur was impregnated matted with blood, but there was not even a scar. He stood up. One more time the reindeers trampled the ground, a loud bleat leaving their mouths. A calling for help. A gruesome laughter left the monster-Santa mouth and the reindeers retreated, shrinking against the sled, looking for a place to hide. The creature looked around, seeing the frightened animals, but it quickly ignored them when he found the bag left in on the ground. He took it, throwing all the gifts to the floor ground. One of his hands with long nails looked searched in the pockets of the ripped off coat he was still wearing until they found a piece of paper.=====================================================================================
Hi Nayara!
This is a very nice piece of writing. I've made a few minor changes above, but overall the quality of writing and language use is very good. I thought it would be useful to elaborate a bit on the edits above. For instance, although the word 'impregnated' in that sentence is technically correct, it is rarely used in writing and speech in that context. There were one or two moments were you slipped from past tense to present. Remember to double-check the tense of your writing. And, in the second last sentence, you use the word 'floor' instead of 'ground'. Normally, the floor is what you walk in when you are inside, whereas the word 'ground' is normally used when talking about things happening outside. As your story appears to be taking place outside, the use of 'ground' is more appropriate.
If you have any more questions, feel free to shoot me a message or comment and I'll be happy to help further.
Cheers,
Stephen
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