Corrections · 3
Birthday
It’s my birthday earlier this week. That’s why I thought to discuss about this topic to discuss with you.I was born in July, it’s during summer and the hottest time of the year in China. It’s really hot in Beijing these days, I have to turn on the air conditioning all the time when I am at home. Although many people don’t like summer because of the hot weather, I do. Maybe the reason is my birthday is in summer.
I still can remember very clearly how much I loved to celebrate my birthday when I was a child. It was always rainy on that day in my memory. My mom always took me out, we went to some specific places to celebrate that day. The first place we went was always the photo studio.
I would took take a picture of myself for on that day, it’s it was kind of a fashion at that time in China. I believe most Chinese young people of my age have the similar photos. After that, we would have a meal at KFC. Eating fired fried chicken is not a big deal now, but it was very luxury for us in the 90's.
The first KFC restaurant entered into Shenyang was in 1994, and it was not cheap. Before then I even didn’t know what hamburger is. So I could ate eat all foods up, even the mayonnaise of the hamburger. At the end of the day, my mom would buy a birthday cake for me. I remembered once I wanted to eat cakes, but my mom didn’t allow me because she said it wasn’t the day of my birthday. So from then on, I only eat ate cakes at the day of on my birthday.
And speaking of my dad, he would buy a gift for me for that day. I can remember he had bought me a football, a remote-control racing car and a handheld electronic dictionary. I loved those gifts so much.
As the time goes by, I don’t expect to celebrate my birthday as like the old times and I don’t know why. I can take photos or eat KFC on any day now, but it doesn’t make me feel as happy as it used to past.
Maybe it’s just because I’m not a child anymore.
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Good job!! I mostly corrected to make things sound more natural, but most of it is technically correct!
It’s my It was my birthday earlier this week. That’s why I thought about this topic to discuss with you.I was born in July, it’s summer and the hottest time of the year in China. It’s really hot in Beijing these days, I have to turn on the air conditioning all the time when I am at home. Although many people don’t like summer because of the hot weather, I do. Maybe the reason is because my birthday is in summer. (Maybe because my birthday's in the summer.)
("I can still remember" sounds better!) I still can remember very clearly how much I love loved to celebrate my birthday when I was a child. It was always rainy on that day in my memory. My mom always took me out, we went to some specific places to celebrate that day. The first place we went was always the photo studio. I would took take a picture of me for that day, it’s which was kind of a fashion in that time of in China. I believe most Chinese young people of my age have the similar photos. After that, we would have a meal at KFC. Eating fired fried chicken is not a big deal now, but it was very a big luxury for us in the 1990s. The first KFC restaurant to enter into Shenyang was in 1994, and it was not cheap. Before then I even didn’t even know what hamburger iswas. So I could ate up all foods up, even the mayonnaise of on the hamburger. At the end of the day, my mom would buy a birthday cake for me. I remembered once I wanted to eat cakes, but my mom didn’t allow me ("let me" is more informal) because she said it wasn’t the day of my birthday. So from then on, I only eat cakes on ate cake on the day of my birthday.
(Normally you say "speaking of" when you were actually speaking of the topic before. Ex. "Then my dad said goodbye. Speaking of my dad... If it's a new topic you could say; "As for my dad..." or just "My dad would buy me a gift.")
And speak Speaking of my dad, he would buy a gift for me for that day. I can remember he had bought ("had bought" is ok, but just bought is correct!) me a football, a remote-control racing car and a handheld electronic dictionary. I loved those gifts so much.
As the time goes by, I don’t expect to celebrate my birthday as like the old times and I don’t know why. I can take photos or eat KFC on any day now, but it doesn’t make me feel as happy as in the past. Maybe it’s just because I’m not a child anymore.
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