IELTS Writing Practice: The positive and the negative sides of globalization

Don't ask why I removed 'the' from every place and then added it back in front of Globalization at the end. I thought about it and I don't know what the difference is. Something to do with globalization referring to the 'effect of' and globalization referring to a quantity seems to make a difference.

IELTS Writing Practice: The positive and the negative sides of globalization

continued...

However, the defects mentioned above will be solved with the improvements in renewable energy by . By the time when a large proportion of energy is converted from to solar and wind. Apparently, they are free and eternal, both environment and economy will be benefited from it.

Besides that, with the globalization, the peace of the world will become more stable than ever before. Through deeply cooperating in various areas aspects, such as technology and economy, these involved countries wlll have established a tight relationship with each other, which will lead to the impossibility of starting a war among them. In some places, like the (haha we add a 'the'!) Middle East, a proportion of people still cannot enjoy a peaceful life. According to the research, these areas are less developed or isolated from the globalization, which contributes to its turbulent society.

To conclude, although some side affects cannot be totally avoided, the significant benefits are far more important for the human civilization. In my opinion, we should put more attention on solving the issues brought by development rather than deny the improvement of globalization that we have achieved.

Some parts, particularly the last half were really quite good!

IELTS Writing Practice: The positive and the negative sides of globalization

first half...

IELTS Writing Practice: The positive and the negative sides of globalization

[The topic is not clearly stated. Is your opinion requested? If not, do not give it, else the evaluator believe you did not understand the question.]

Hi, this is a writing practice for IELTS. The topic is "The positive and the negative sides of globalization".

Any help will be appreciated!

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Over the past several decades, without any doubt, the globalization, is one of the most significant processes has been taking place, which effects has deeply affected a large-scale large proportion of the population world-widely and deeply worldwide. In the meanwhile, the controversies over this phenomenon about whether it is a blessing or a curse are have never stopped. 

It is inevitable that some adverse effects are being brought by this great process. Due to the drastically increasing demands of for various industrial products, massive numbers of factories were established to meet the market’s needs, some of which caused heavy pollutions pollution to the environment. Such as the For example, electricity, an indispensable energy source to support the industry, it is mainly generated from fossil fuel, especially the burning of coal, that which not only emits greenhouse gases, but also contaminates the air. According to the research, an increasing number of health issues are caused by inhaling polluted air.

However, the defects mentioned above will be solved with the improvements in renewable energy, By the time when a large proportion of energy is converted from solar and wind. Apparently, they are free and eternal, and so both the environment and the economy will be benefited benefit from it.

Besides that, with the globalization, the peace of the world will become more stable than ever before. Through By deeply cooperating in various aspects, such as technology and the economy, these those involved countries have established a tight relationship with each other, which leading to the impossibility of starting a war among them. In some places, like the Mideast, a proportion of people still cannot enjoy a peaceful life. According to the research, these areas are less developed or isolated from the globalization, which contributes to its turbulent society.