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IELTS essay : The adcantages and disadvantages of the Internet In recent times, the Internet has become more popular over the last few decades. It has brought enormous changes to our society. This essay will focus on both benefits and drawbacks of the Internet. Obviously, it enables us to live more efficiently. We use it for various purposes; from personal ones to public ones. Online shopping is one example. Without walking around what we need, it can be delivered to our house. This saves us a large amount of time. Secondly, the Internet has significant roles in business. For instance, webpages are powerful media for companies to advertise themselves. Especially for young generations, adverts shown in social networking services are overwhelmingly influential, which contribute to larger consume with fewer costs and resources compared to fliers or TV commercials. On the other hand, the widespread of the Internet has brought some harm to us. It can be denied that the number of criminals related to it has rapidly increased. This causes theft of personal information or illegal accesses to classified data of public organizations. Moreover, the threat of cyber-attacks has been greater. As the latest news, some people were swindled by means of fake viruses. To sum up, it is clear that there are pros and cons of using the Internet, but in the current climate, the merits outweigh the demerits. In my opinion, the internet is likely to grow in its popularity in the future. We need to use it carefully and monitor the negative aspects at the same time.

Corrections · 10

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IELTS essay : The advantages and disadvantages of the Internet

The Internet has become more (and more) popular over the last few decades. It has brought enormous changes to our society. This essay will focus on both the benefits and drawbacks of the Internet.

Obviously, it enables us to live more efficiently. We use it for various purposes; from personal ones to public ones. Online shopping is one example. Without walking around, what we need can be delivered to our house. This saves us a large amount of time. Secondly, the Internet has significant roles in business. For instance, webpages are powerful media for companies to advertise themselves. Especially for younger generations, adverts shown in social networking services are overwhelmingly influential, which contributes to larger consumption with fewer costs and resources compared to flyers or TV commercials.

On the other hand, the wide spread of the Internet has brought some harm to us. It can't be denied that the number of criminals found on there to it has rapidly increased. This causes theft of personal information or illegal access to the classified data of public organizations. Moreover, the threat of cyber-attacks has become greater. As the latest news shows, some people we have been swindled by means of fake viruses.

To sum up, it is clear that there are pros and cons of using the Internet, but in the current climate, the merits outweigh the demerits. In my opinion, the internet is likely to grow in its popularity in the future. We need to use it carefully and monitor the negative aspects at the same time.

Hello Saki,

This is a nice essay which is correctly laid out. Apart from the 3rd paragraph there are actually very few errors in this piece of writing.

Well done


Bob

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IELTS essay : The advantages and disadvantages of the Internet

In recent times, the Internet has become more popular over the last few decades (having said 'in recent times' in the earlier part of your sentence, this seems redundant now. You can consider the following introduction: With the advent of media technology and the increasing popularity of the Internet in recent decades, our society is witnessing massive changes everyday.). It has brought enormous changes to our society. This essay will focus on both benefits and drawbacks of the Internet.

Obviously, it (it is always helpful to specify the 'it' in the sentence.) enables us to live more efficiently.(Perhaps the topic sentence here is slightly colloquial i.e. the tone is slightly casual for an academic essay) We use it for various purposes; from personal ones to public ones. (Use 'Firstly' here if there is an intention to use secondly later on) Online shopping is one example. Without walking around what we need, it can be delivered to our house. (Grammar: The Internet offers the convenience of never having to leave the comforts of our home to purchase our shopping) This saves us a large amount of time. Secondly, the Internet has significant roles in business. For instance, webpages are powerful media (platforms) for companies to advertise themselves. Especially for the younger generations, adverts shown in social networking services are overwhelmingly influential, which contribute to larger consume with fewer costs and resources compared to fliers or TV commercials. (Consumption in which aspect? i believe you mean to say that the cost of production decreases etc. one way to phrase this can be 'Electronic advertisements on social networking sites significantly decreases the cost of advertising for these companies, while reducing the reliance on print media for advertising. Consequently, cost price of products are reduced and potentially, profits increase.')    (perhaps you can bring in a more specific illustration such as the use of 'influencers' on social networks for advertisements/product placements etc)

On the other hand, the widespread use of the Internet has brought some harm to us. It can be denied (it is undeniable) that the number of criminals related to it has rapidly increased. This causes theft of personal information or illegal accesses to classified data of public organisations. (over here, the statement you made suggests that the rapid increase in online criminals is a direct cause of the suggested crimes. However, there is hardly any significant causative relationship to take note of here since, these crimes are committed by criminals. Hence, a more accurate description you can put forth is that the Internet has created more opportunities for individuals to turn to crimes such as the theft of personal information etc etc ) Moreover, the threat of cyber-attacks has been (become) greater. As the latest news, some people were swindled by means of fake viruses. (perhaps a general conclusion to your paragraph can bring a more satisfactory end to this paragraph)

To sum up, it is clear that there are pros and cons of using the Internet, but in the current climate, the merits outweigh the demerits.(perhaps a more detailed analysis as to how you arrived at this conclusion will be helpful. Currently, you have listed both sides of the sort but have yet to compare and analyse the two sides.) In my opinion, the internet is likely to grow in its popularity in the future. We need to use it carefully and monitor the negative aspects at the same time.


Hope this helps? There is quite a fair bit of argumentative structure to improve on but overall, the essay is well-structured and fluent except for the occasional lapse in grammar. 



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IELTS essay : The advantages and disadvantages of the Internet

In recent times, Over the last few decades, the Internet has become more popular. It has brought enormous changes to our society. This essay will focus on both the benefits and drawbacks of the Internet.

Obviously, it enables us to live more efficiently. We use it for various purposes; from personal ones to public ones. Online shopping is one example. Without walking around to buy what we need, it can be delivered to our house. This saves us a large amount of time. Secondly, the Internet has significant roles in business. For instance, webpages are powerful media with which companies can advertise themselves. Especially for young generations, adverts shown in social networking services are overwhelmingly influential, which contribute to larger consumption with fewer costs and resources compared to fliers or TV commercials.

On the other hand, the widespread use of the Internet has brought some harm to us. It cannot be denied that the number of criminals related to it has rapidly increased. This causes theft of personal information or illegal accesses to classified data of public organizations. Moreover, the threat of cyber-attacks has become greater. According to the latest news, some people were swindled by means of fake viruses.

To sum up, it is clear that there are pros and cons to using the Internet, but in the current climate, the merits outweigh the demerits. In my opinion, the internet is likely to grow in its popularity in the future. We need to use it carefully and monitor the negative aspects at the same time.

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One more thing to ask, but which is better to use, 'webpage' or 'web page'? or should I use 'website'?
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If there are any words which can be paraphrased to high level words or phrases, could anyone tell them? I want to improve my vocabulary.

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