Corrections · 5
Fast food
For me, I think that fast food is absolutely necessary for modern people. With the fast pace in the modern commercial world, people usually seek for efficiency.For example, people want to find the most efficient way to commute, so they take public transportation like the subway. To save time from while eating and still get enough satisfaction, fast food restaurants can attract the people who are in pursuit of efficiency.
However, we cannot ignore the risk of taking fast food. To make food quickly, (1) staff in fast food restaurant usually add much oil when they cooking, so eating that kind of food makes us be obesity obese and do (2) cause damage to our health. We must weigh both the advantage and the disadvantage of eating fast food.
Hi PengLi,
A good and succinct piece of writing on fast food. I have a few suggestions to share:
(1) The noun "staff" is an uncountable noun.
(2) I decided to change "do" to "cause". Obesity causes damage to our health. Therefore, there is a causal relationship between obesity and poor health, and I thought using "cause" will bring out the effect more strongly.
Hope this helps.
Cheers,
Lance
Fast food
For me, I think that fast food is absolutely necessary for modern people. With the fast pace inof the modern commercial world, people usually seek for efficiency. For example, people want to find the most efficient way to commute, so they take public transportation, like the subway. To save time from eating and still get enough satisfaction, fast food restaurants can attract the people who are in pursuit of efficiency.However, we cannot ignore the risks of takingeating fast food. To make food quickly, staffs in fast food restaurants usually add too much oil when they cooking, so eating that food can make us be obesitye and do damage to our health. We must weigh both the advantages and the disadvantages of eating fast food ("add too much" or "add a lot of", "add much oil" doesn't sound right. Actually, in America, fastfood usually has nothing to do with efficiency. The restaurants cut corners to make the food very cheap and the poor can't make enough money to eat anywhere else so they have to eat there, health be damned. )
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