昨天我去了Southend-On-Sea
昨天我和我的朋友一起去镇。我们去了商店和咖啡店。我们在咖啡店坐了和喝了可乐和奶昔。因为我们有了我们的球接头娃娃所以我们拍照。吃了在咖啡店太贵所以我们去了饭馆。我们除了吃面条意外我们吃蔬菜。它好吃！它还了很便宜！
昨天晚上我来了家。在我的卧室我看了一个中文课接着我玩了Just Dance。
English:
Yesterday I went to town with my friend, we went to the stores and to a cafe. We sat in the cafe and drank cola and milkshakes. Because we brought our ball jointed dolls, we took some pictures. Eating in the cafe was too expensive so we went to a restaurant. at the restaurant we ate noodles and vegetables. It was delicious and also very cheap!
In the evening I went home. I studied Chinese in my bedroom and then played Just Dance.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 5
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昨天我去了Southend-On-Sea
昨天我和我的朋友一起去了镇里。我们去了商店和咖啡店。我们在咖啡店坐了一会儿，和喝了点可乐和奶昔。因为我们有了我们的球接头娃娃所以我们拍照。因为我们随身携带着我们的球接头娃娃，所以我们给它们拍了张照片。(光看中文我不知道你想表达什么。看了英文翻译以后，我想你应该是想表达这个。)吃了在咖啡店太贵因为在咖啡店吃饭太贵，所以我们去了饭馆。我们除了吃面条意外我们吃蔬菜。它好吃！它还了很便宜！我们吃了些面条和蔬菜。它们物美价廉。(if you want to express something is not only good but also cheap,you can use"物美价廉") (What’s more，"意外"doesn't mean "besides",it means something out of you expectation.For example:意外的是(To my suprise)，我竟然没有及格。)
昨天晚上我来了家。傍晚时，我就到家了。(傍晚 means evening(the time before sunset,the sky doesn't become dark at all.),while 晚上 means night(the time that the sky is dark at all). )在我的卧室我看了一个中文课接着我玩了Just Dance。我在卧室里学了会儿中文，然后又玩了会儿Just Dance。
English:
Yesterday I went to town with my friend, we went to the stores and to a cafe. We sat in the cafe and drank cola and milkshakes. Because we brought our ball jointed dolls, we took some pictures. Eating in the cafe was too expensive so we went to a restaurant. at the restaurant we ate noodles and vegetables. It was delicious and also very cheap!
In the evening I went home. I studied Chinese in my bedroom and then played Just Dance.
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【我猜你的老师告诉你“了”的功能是表示过去时。你可以拿这篇文章让老师给你好好解释解释“了”的作用和用法。】
昨天我去了Southend-On-Sea
昨天我和我的朋友一起去镇。我们去了商店和咖啡店。我们在咖啡店坐了和喝了可乐和奶昔。因为我们有了我们的球接头娃娃所以我们拍照。吃了在咖啡店太贵所以我们去了饭馆。我们除了吃面条意外我们吃蔬菜。它好吃！它还了很便宜！昨天晚上我来了家。在我的卧室我看了一个中文课接着我玩了Just Dance。
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球接头娃娃???芭比娃娃？？
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昨天我去了Southend-On-Sea
昨天我和（no need add 我的 here, because the "朋友" is obviously yours not others）朋友一起去镇（去逛街）。我们去了商店（I think 商场 is better, in Chinese, 商店 means a store， 商场 means a shopping mall）和咖啡店。我们在咖啡店坐了和喝了（坐了会，并喝了）可乐和奶昔。因为我们有了我们（自己）的球接头娃娃（What's this）所以我们拍（了）照。吃了在咖啡店太贵（因为在咖啡厅吃饭太贵）所以我们去了饭馆（餐厅，餐厅 is restaurant, 饭馆 or 饭店 or 酒店 is hotel）。我们除了吃面条意外我们吃蔬菜（除了面条以外，我们还点了蔬菜，Your sentence makes me feel that you ate noodles first, and then ate vegetables, but it doesn't make sense）。它好吃！它还了很便宜！ (它们都很好吃，而且还很便宜, pleas use 它们)昨天晚上我来了家（回到家）。在我的卧室（回到家 above means it's your home, so no need use 我的 here,it's yours by default.）我看了一个中文课（I'm not sure what's your English version sentence.）接着我玩了Just Dance。
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昨天我去了Southend-On-Sea
昨天我和我的朋友一起去了镇上。我们去了商店和咖啡店。我们在咖啡店坐了坐，和喝了可乐和奶昔。因为我们有了我们的球接头娃娃所以我们拍了照。吃了的在咖啡店太贵所以我们去了饭馆。我们除了吃面条意以外我们还吃蔬菜。它很好吃！它还了很便宜！昨天晚上我来到了家。在我的卧室我看了一个节中文课，接着我玩了Just Dance。
it is better to post the English version of this composition. it would be easy to know what you want to say.
和 only links nouns. you can use 而且 links sentences. if you do one thing and another and another, just put a comma in between.
all the purple words can be dropped. simplicity is the beauty.
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