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Italy flagMarta Zanello
I want your opinion about this "family issue" I want to tell you about an episode that happened last evening, but first I had to do some premises. At the end of the month I'm going to quit my current job and move to another region to start a new job (better, in a bigger company, more remunerated). My boyfriend is making a stage in a company here, but he is considering the possibility to look for a job in the region where I'm going to move. When we told this to his mom, she reacted in a way which surprised me very much. She said she doesn't want we move away from our region, because we have to stay near her and her family, in order to help my boyfriend's parents when they will get older and need our assistance. It seemed to me a very selfish though, beacause she wants to limit his son's freedom and his possibility to get a good job and to build a family where he prefers. Without any doubt, sons must be grateful to their parents for the life they gave them and for every sacrifice parents do for their children. But I think also that everyone has the right to make his own life in the way he chooses and where he wants, and parents shouldn't limit their sons and make them feel guilty for this. I felt very bad about this last evening and I keep thinking about. What do you think? Is it usual in your country that people move far away from their family? Is it right that a mother makes such an emotional blackmail? I will appreciate your corrections but also your opinions on this topic, thanks!

Corrections · 2

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I want your opinion about this "family issue"

I want to tell you about an episode that happened last evening night, but first I had to do some premises have to explain the background.
At the end of the month I'm going to quit my current job and move to another region to start a new job (better, in a bigger company, more remunerated better paid). My boyfriend is making a stage? getting a promotion? in a company here, but he is considering the possibility to of looking for a job in the region where I'm going to move. When we told this to his mom this, she reacted in a way which surprised me very much. She said she doesn't want we us to move away from our region, because we have to stay near her and her family, in order to help my boyfriend's parents when they will get older and need our assistance. It seemed to me a very selfish response though, because she wants to limit his her son's freedom and his possibility to get a good job and to build a family where he prefers. Without any doubt, sons must be grateful to their parents for the life they gave them and for every sacrifice parents do make for their children. But I think also that everyone has the right to make his their own life in the way he they choose and where he they want, and parents shouldn't limit their sons and make them feel guilty for this.
I felt very bad about this last evening night and I keep thinking about.
What do you think? Is it usual in your country that people move far away from their family? Is it right that a mother commits such an emotional blackmail?

I will would appreciate your corrections but also your opinions on this topic, thanks!

You have good English skills, and this is a very interesting situation. It is not I think part of any particular culture to stop children from going away to make their own life, it really depends on the individual. I moved to Poland and there was never any question that I shouldn't do this, in fact it wasn't really discussed. My family are far away, well not so far, but they support me, and I would support my own daughter in the future, wherever she wanted to live. It's perhaps the issue that your boyfriend's mother cannot face the separation from her son, as this is a very difficult stage in life, letting go of your child is not an easy thing to do, and perhaps she just needs time to accept it and maybe even talk about it so that she can come to terms with it. But you are right, the best thing any parent can do to help their child grow, is support their decisions (as long as those decisions seem to be sensible and logical).



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