IELTS writing task 1... describing a bar graph!
Hello everybody!
I would be thankful if someone would help me correcting this short essay (you'll find the image described below). Thank you so much, your help will be very helpful to me.
The bar graph below provides data on the total amount of time (in billion of minutes) spent on telephone in the UK, sorted by three different types (local; national and international; mobiles) over a 7 tear period of time (from 1995 to 2002).
Overall, during the period considered, the vast majority of calls were made toward local numbers; while local communication has been fairly steady, both national/international and mobile calls have growth.
As we can see from the graph, British people use telephone mainly for making local calls: the number of this type of calls have slightly increased from 1995 to 1999, when it reached it peak (with precisely 90 billions of minutes of transmission), and then started to decrease, reaching again, in 2002, approximately the level of 1995 (slightly over 70 billion of minutes consumed).
While there has been a constant growth in national and international calls (consumers spent almost 40 billion of minutes using telephone in 1995 and above 60 billion in 2002), the rise in mobile calls has been significantly remarkable. In fact, the trend is impressively upward: if in 1995 British people used mobile phones for less than 100 billion of minutes (approximately 5 billion), in 2002 this feature is far more than double that of 1997 (as we can see from the graph, around 45 billion of minutes).
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Corrections · 3
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Hi, I'm no native speaker (but I have a CAE certification, which if I'm not wrong is about the same level as IELTS) so I am just 99% sure of the corrections but I hope this helps anyway :). My corrections are in yellow, my comments in green.
IELTS writing task 1... describing a bar graph!
Hello everybody!I would be thankful if someone would help me correcting this short essay (you'll find the image described below). Thank you so much, your help will be very helpful to me.
The bar graph below provides data on the total amount of time (in billion of minutes) spent on the telephone in the UK, sorted by three different types (local; national and international; mobiles) over a 7 tyear period of time (from 1995 to 2002).
Overall, during the period considered, the vast majority of calls were made toward local numbers; while local communication has been fairly steady, both national/international and mobile calls have grownth.
As we can see from the graph, British people use telephone mainly for making local calls: the number of this type of calls hasve slightly increased from 1995 to 1999, when it reached its peak (with precisely 90 billions of minutes of transmission), and then started to decrease, reaching again, in 2002, approximately the level of 1995 (slightly over 70 billion of minutes consumed).
While there has been a constant growth in national and international calls (consumers spent almost 40 billion of minutes using the telephone in 1995 and above 60 billion in 2002), the rise in mobile calls has been significantly remarkable (I would use either significant or remarkable here). In fact, the trend is impressively upward: if in 1995 British people used mobile phones for less than 100 billion of minutes (approximately 5 billion), in 2002 this feature is far more than double that of 1997 (as we can see from the graph, around 45 billion of minutes).
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IELTS Writing Task 1- Describing A Bar Graph!
Hello everybody!
I would be thankful if someone would help me, by correcting this short essay (you'll find the image described below). Thank you so much for your help, your corrections will be very helpful to me.
The bar graph below provides data on the total amount of time (in billions of minutes) spent on the telephone in the UK, sorted by three different types of calls (local, national, and international, and mobiles) over a 7-year period of time, from 1995 to 2002.
Overall, during the period considered, the vast majority of calls made, were to local numbers; while local communication has been fairly steady, both national/international, and mobile calls have increased over the years. As we can see from the graph, British people use the telephone mainly for making local calls; the number of this type of call, has slightly increased from 1995 to 1999, when it reached its peak (with precisely 90 billion minutes of transmission), and then started to decrease, reading in 2002, approximately the level of 1995 (slightly over 70 billion minutes).
While there has been constant growth in national and international calls, (consumers spent almost 40 billion minutes using the telephone in 1995, and above 60 billion in 2002), the rise in mobile calls has been significantly remarkable. In fact, the trend is impressively upward; in 1995, British people used mobile phones for less than 100 billion minutes (approximately 5 billion), in 2002 this type of call is more than double that of 1997 (as we can see from the graph, around 45 billion minutes).
Very nicely written Giacomo! I only had to make a few minor corrections regarding punctuation, and singular and plural word usage. Very nicely done my friend, if you have any questions please let me know!
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