describing a graph
The graph compares average carbon dioxide emissions per person in four European countries from 1967 to 2007.
In 1967 the United Kingdom released by far the largest amount of carbon dioxide, with 11 tonnes per person in average. In Sweden and in Italy the average carbon dioxide released per person was 9 tonnes and 4.5 tonnes respectively, while in Portugal much less carbon dioxide was released( just over 1 tonnes).
However, during this 40-year period the carbon dioxide emissions in the United Kingdom fell gradually to approximately 9 tonnes, While the carbon dioxide emissions in Italy and in Portugal showed an upward trend, with 7.5 tonnes and 5 tonnes in 2007 respectively.
The emissions of carbon dioxide in Sweden fluctuated more dramatically, it incresed to around 11 tonnes in 1980, with a sharp decrease to about 5 tonnes. And the figure was just the same as that in Portugal.
We can also see from the graph, UK remain the first who released the largest amount of carbon dioxide per person in average , while Italy overtook Sweden and became the second.
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Corrections · 7
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describing a graph
The graph compares average carbon dioxide emissions per person in four European countries from 1967 to 2007.In 1967 the United Kingdom released by far the largest amount of carbon dioxide, with 11 tonnes per person, on in average. In Sweden and in Italy, the average carbon dioxide released per person was 9 tonnes and 4.5 tonnes respectively, while in Portugal much less carbon dioxide was released( just over 1 tonnes).
However, during this 40-year period the carbon dioxide emissions in the United Kingdom fell gradually to approximately 9 tonnes, While the carbon dioxide emissions in Italy and in Portugal showed an upward trend, with 7.5 tonnes and 5 tonnes in 2007, respectively.
The emissions of carbon dioxide in Sweden fluctuated more dramatically: they increased , it incresed to around 11 tonnes in 1980, with a sharp decrease to about 5 tonnes. And the figure was just the same for as that in Portugal.
We can also see from the graph, UK remained the nation to release the first who released the largest amount of carbon dioxide per person on in average , while Italy overtook Sweden and became the second.
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describing a graph
The graph compares average carbon dioxide emissions per person in four European countries from 1967 to 2007.In 1967 the United Kingdom released by far the largest amount of carbon dioxide, with 11 tonnes per person in average. In Sweden and in Italy the average carbon dioxide released per person was 9 tonnes and 4.5 tonnes respectively, while in Portugal much less carbon dioxide was released (just over 1 tonnes).
However, during this 40-year period the carbon dioxide emissions in the United Kingdom fell gradually to approximately 9 tonnes, while the carbon dioxide emissions in Italy and in Portugal showed an upward trend, with 7.5 tonnes and 5 tonnes in 2007 respectively.
The emissions of carbon dioxide in Sweden fluctuated more dramatically, it increased to around 11 tonnes in 1980, with a sharp decrease to about 5 tonnes. The figure was just the same as that in Portugal.
We can also see from the graph, UK remain the first who released the largest amount of carbon dioxide per person in average, while Italy overtook Sweden and became the second.
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Thanks for your advice. I want to avoid repetition but I find it hard to use synonyms.
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IELTS Task1. Try to avoid repetition. You might use a little more referencing- you have written 'carbon dioxide' 8 times in a short description. Try - the gas, this dangerous substance, or just omit 'carbon dioxide' once for example ; the UK remained (past tense) the highest emitter throughout the period while Italy overtook Sweden and became the second.
Or- throughout the 40 year period the UK remained the highest emitter although the amount of the gas released fell gradually to approximately 9 tonnes with Italy overtaking Sweden to become second- . (You might get a higher score for coherence and organisation. ) It is not the best style to begin a paragraph with 'however' 'while' small letter . Increased (spelling)
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