IELTS writing task 1... describing a map!!!
Hello everybody! I would be sincerely thankful if you'd find the time to correct this piece of writing! :-))))
Thank you in advance for your precious help!!!
The maps illustrate how Stokeford has changed over a 80 year period of time (from 1930 to 2010).
Overall, as we can see from the two maps, during the period considered, a great deal has changed: while in 1930 Stokeford was a small village where many areas were mainly occupied by farmland, nowaday these fields have been completely replaced.
In 1930, Stokeford had just one main central street, surrounded by farmlands, gardens of a lavish large house filled with different types of trees (like pines) and a small amount of houses.
Over a 70 year period, many things have significantly changed: in fact, in 2010 farmlands have disappeared and, as the second map shows us, they have been replaced by houses. Also the villa does not exist anymore: now, in the same area, a retirement house is located, which is double size of the old building and has only pines in its gardens. Due to the increase in population, the primary school has been extended and new shops have been built on the left hand side of the main street.
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1
IELTS writing task 1... describing a map!!!
Hello everybody! I would be sincerely thankful if you'd find the time to correct this piece of writing! :-))))Thank you in advance for your precious help!!!
The maps illustrate how Stokeford has changed over an 80 year period of time from 1930 to 2010.
Overall, as we can see from the two maps, during the period considered, a great deal has changed: while in 1930 Stokeford was a small village where many areas were mainly occupied by farmland, nowadays these fields have been completely replaced. In 1930, Stokeford had just one main central street, surrounded by farmland, gardens of a lavish large house filled with different types of trees (like pines) and a small number of houses.
Over a 70 year period, many things have significantly changed: in fact, in 2010 the farmland has disappeared and, as the second map shows us, they have been replaced by houses. Also the villa does not exist anymore: now, in the same area, a retirement house is located, which is double size of the old building and has only pines in its gardens. Due to the increase in population, the primary school has been extended and new shops have been built on the left hand side of the main street.
Hello Giacomo,
Nice description reasonably well laid out. You omitted the detail about the extra roads in the village and the fact that houses had been built on the approach to the old house whose garden is now approximately 50% of its original size. I am not sure that the types of tree are actually relevant to the question.
Best wishes
Bob
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IELTS Writing Task 1...Describing A Map!!!
Hello everybody! I would be sincerely thankful if you'd find the time to correct this piece of writing! :-))))
Thank you in advance for your precious help!!!
The maps below (we say "below" here because there is a picture of the maps for readers to see and reference) show how Stokeford has changed over an 80-year period, from 1930 to 2010.
Overall, during the period shown, a great deal has changed, while in 1930 Stokeford was a small village where many areas were farmland, nowadays these fields have been completely replaced. In 1930, Stokeford had just one main street, surrounded by farmland, gardens of a lavish, large house filled with different types of trees, such as pine trees and smaller houses down the road.
Over a 70-year period, many things have changed significantly, in 2010, the farmland has disappeared, and as the second map shows, it has been replaced by houses. Also, the villa does not exist anymore; now, a retirement home has been built in that area, which is double the size of the old building; it has only pine trees in its gardens. Due to the increase in population, the primary school has been renovated and expanded, and new shops have been built on the left-hand side of the main street.
Overall Giacomo, this was very nicely written! I was very impressed with your writing, and how descriptive you were when describing the maps and the changes that occurred over time. I did make a few corrections, regarding word choice and placement, and the grammatical use of commas, and semicolons, but overall like I said, you did a very nice job! If you have any questions, please let me know!
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