My dream
When I was a childhood, I have problems with skin. It was allergic dermatitis which was quite dry and sensitive. I always allergic to skin products and easily to have bruise. When I have wound, it took a long time to recover and some wound turn to scar. I have tried many products and anti-scar to cure my skin but It took long time to see effects and some products wasn't working. I can't change the consumer goods or cosmetics frequently. Due to when I changed, I usually have rash and itching. So, that're why I want to study formulation science. I want to know the ingredient and develop products.which suitable for individual person. Moreover, I can contribute my knowledge and recommend the people to choose products that suitable for them especially who have hypersensitivity with skin..
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I hope that you are able to live your dream!
The most common error I noticed was that you didn't maintain a consistent tense, but switched often between past and present. Something to pay attention to :)
Good luck!
My dream
When I was a child childhood, I have had problems with my skin. It was allergic dermatitis which was made my skin quite dry and sensitive. I was always allergic to skin products and bruised easily to have bruise. When I have had a wound, it took a long time to recover and some wounds turned to scars. I have tried many products and anti-scarring treatments to cure my skin but It took takes long time to see effects and some products don't work. wasn't working. I can't switch change the consumer goods or cosmetics frequently. Due to when I changed, I usually have rashes and itching caused by new products. So, that're that's why I want to study formulation science. I want to know the ingredients and develop products which are suitable for each individual person. Moreover, I can contribute my knowledge and recommend the people to help people to choose products that are suitable for them, especially those who have hypersensitive skin. hypersensitivity with skin..0
My Dream
Over my childhood, I had a problem with my skin--allergic dermatitis--which made it quite dry and sensitive. As a result, I was unable to freely change cosmetics or other skin goods since I usually ended up with a rash and itchy skin whenever I did so. In addition to this allergy to skin products, I also bruise easily. Furthermore, whenever I suffered a wound, it took a long time to heal and some wounds would even turn into scars. I tried various skin disorder products and anti-scaring ointments to treat my skin, but they either took a long time to see the effects or some products simply didn’t work at all. So, these are the main reasons why I want to study formulation science. I want to learn about the various ingredients and develop products which could be useful to each individual person. Moreover, I can then use my own experience and knowledge to provide recommendations to others as to those products which would be more appropriate for them, especially those who have hypersensitive skin.
สวัสดี ครับ Khun Nattaporn! Good job! While there were no major problems, I rewrote and rearranged a few of your sentences to make them sound more natural to my native ears. As Hannah mentioned, pay more attention to “tenses.” I hope that this helps you. J.
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My dream
When I was a child childhood, I had problems with my skin. It was called allergic dermatitis which made my skin quite dry and sensitive. I was always allergic to skin products and is easily bruised. Whenever When I get have a wound, it would take a long time to recover and some wounds turned to scars. I have tried many anti-scar products and to cure my skin but it took a long time to see the effects and some products weren't wasn't working. I couldn't can't switch change the consumer goods or cosmetics frequently. Due to Whenever I switch changed, I usually get have rashes and itchiness itching. So, that's 're why I want to study formulation science. I want to know the ingredients and develop products. Which is suitable for every individual person. Moreover, I can contribute my knowledge and recommend people to choose products that are suitable for them, especially the ones with have hypersensitive skin. hypersensitivity with skin.Want to progress faster?
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