you are a beloved lover
I have understood that you love me too
The rain, all last night, opened this secret and told it to the downpipe,
It was me and this closed book,
It was me and the lumped in the throat:
Do you love me too?
The hands of morning breeze
Wiped the tears from my wet cheeks
And turned my throat lumped into the laugh.
I have understood that your love is more than mine
Last night, one star on the floor of the sky, showed with a twinkle that you have put the sun on the dark hair of the night.
When you have gifted us thousands of flowers;
Thousands of dandelions to bring your love message;
When the Collared Dove brought your hi-morning,
I found that your love is more than mine
When you forgave my faults,
And opened your arms to me again,
And with a verse which removed my dust sorrow,
When my heart became glad with the remembering of your affection;
When you have allowed me to call you,
That secret of your love became opened
Now I have known that
You are with me all the moments
You are my good beloved!
You are a beloved lover!
(it is a persian poem from Keyvan Shahbodaqi that I have tried to translate it)
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Corrections · 5
5
You are a Beloved Lover
I have understood that you love me tooThe rain, all last night, opened this secret and told it to the downpipe,
It was me and this closed book,
It was me and the lump in my throat:
Do you love me too?
The hands of the morning breeze
Wiped the tears from my wet cheeks
And turned the lump in my throat into a laugh.
I have understood that your love is more than mine
Last night, one star on the floor of the sky, showed with a twinkle that you have put the sun on the dark hair of the night.
When you have gifted us thousands of flowers;
Thousands of dandelions to bring your love message;
When the collared dove brought your hi-morning,
I found that your love is more than mine
When you forgave my faults,
And opened your arms to me again,
And with a verse which removed my dust(?) sorrow,
When my heart became glad with the memory of your affection;
When you have allowed me to call you,
That secret of your love became opened
Now I have known that
You are with me every moments
You are my good beloved!
You are a beloved lover!
(it is a Persian poem from Keyvan Shahbodaqi that I have tried to translate it)
-Very nice. i tried to make as few changes as possible to preserve the meaning.
1
in my opinion: hi-morning should be morning-hi
Just a suggestion: maybe you can substitute verbs such as was, are, put, remove with more descriptive English verbs
Synonym Finder New Edition by Rodale, J.I.
that is the reference book I use.
0
Thanks dear Mah, I love this poem too.
0
This poem is so beautiful , I saved it on my laptop ^_^ ♡♥ (:
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