Creative rewrite "A Temporary Matter" second part second part: And I know that is wrong to let him kiss me and that we ended up having sex that one night, but I thought maybe something would change after this. I was so stupid to really think this. Of course nothing changed. Anyways, I physically could not make myself say these words on the first night. But he instead did not hesitate a single moment to tell me the last thing on earth that I wanted to know. How could he held our dead son in his arms in the first place without letting me know the whole time? I mean he wasn’t even there when I got into the hospital… What kind of husband does that? I remember that he told me that his stupid conference is soo important and sure, I said that he should go, but is it really that hard to understand that sometimes yes means no? I didn’t want to sound like one of those wives who stand in the way of their husband’s career, but of course I wanted him to be at home. He should have been there when it happened. Even that is unforgiveable, but he never spoke to me about that. He never apologized. All this time I felt like he did not understand me at all. But how should he? He did not carry a piece of himself for nine months within him. I never expected him to understand, but it did not seem like he genuinely cared about me after it happened. He did not make an effort to talk to me about it, ask me how I feel or comfort me like he did before everything changed. I really would have needed that. I know that it was hard for him to deal with the grief, I don’t want to sound like a bitch, but it wasn’t the same for him as it was for me. Our son died inside of me, not him. A piece of me died when he died. But instead of being there for me Shukumar couldn’t wait to move into his room. I know that it was his way to escape from being near to me, but how could he be in the room that my son should have slept in all the time? No wonder he became this depressed and didn’t do anything all day.