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Creative rewrite "A Temporary Matter" This is the first part of my creative rewrite of the short story "A Temporary Matter" for my English class. It would be great if someone could proof-read it. :) Thank you! Dear Diary, it’s been three days since I’ve told Shukumar about the apartment. I’ve been living at my parent’s home these past days cause I can’t stand the thought of being near to him now. Although it feels weird to be back here and sleep in my old room. It’s hard to hold their gazes for I know how much they despise my decision. I guess I’ll never forget dad’s look “It’s a disgrace that don’t want to live with your husband anymore for practically no reason!” I haven’t told anyone what Shukumar told me. I just can’t say it out loud to my parents and I think it would not make any difference to Dad. I didn’t expect him to react any different. Dad, at least, will never accept that it’s a different time now and that he is not in India anymore. For them, I’m a disgrace. I’m a disgrace for marrying Shukumar in the first place, for being the breadwinner and for leaving him. It would have been easier to just stay at Gillian’s house for a few days, but I was too afraid and ashamed to ask her. Maybe she would have understood my situation… or maybe she’s still angry with me for breaking off contact with her. Perhaps I should send her a letter and explain everything to her in detail. Anyways, at the beginning of the next week I can move into the apartment. Besides that, I have to focus on the good things now, I mean at least I don’t have to see him. It would just hurt too much. I still can’t believe how he could have been so heartless. Before telling him about the apartment I imagined what he would say over and over again, but this didn’t cross my mind. Even if I had known that he knew the gender of our child. This is not the Shukumar I married. He used to be so loving and sensitive. I know that pain changes people. I mean, I changed too, but the Shukumar I used to know would have never done something like that to me. How much does he hate me to do such a thing to me? I mean, I never wanted to hurt him that’s why I played that game in the first place, but he clearly doesn’t care about me anymore. I just hoped that he might figure out that I wanted to tell him, yet he was completely clueless. Even a few months ago Shukumar would have noticed instantly if something was wrong… I really wanted to tell him everything on the first night, but I couldn’t.

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Creative rewrite "A Temporary Matter"

This is the first part of my creative rewrite of the short story "A Temporary Matter" for my English class. It would be great if someone could proof-read it. :) Thank you!

Dear Diary,
it’s been three days since I’ve told Shukumar about the apartment. I’ve been living at my parent’s parents' home these past days, because I can’t stand the thought of being near to him now. Although it feels weird to be back here and sleep in my old room. It’s hard to hold their gazes for I know how much they despise my decision. I guess I’ll never forget dad’s look “It’s a disgrace that you don’t want to live with your husband anymore for practically no reason!” I haven’t told anyone what Shukumar had told me. I just can’t say it out loud to my parents and I think it would not make any difference to Dad. I didn’t expect him to react any different. Dad, at least, will never accept that it’s a different time now and that he is not in India anymore. For them, I’m a disgrace. I’m a disgrace for marrying having married Shukumar in the first place, for being the breadwinner and for leaving him. It would have been easier to just stay at Gillian’s house for a few days, but I was too afraid and ashamed to ask her. Maybe she would have understood my situation… or maybe she’s still angry with me for breaking off contact with her. Perhaps I should send her a letter and explain everything to her in detail. Anyways, at the beginning of the next week I can move into the apartment. Besides that, I have to focus on the good things now, I mean at least I don’t have to see him. It would just hurt too much. I still can’t believe how he could have been so heartless. Before telling him about the apartment I imagined what he would say over and over again, but this didn’t cross my mind. Even if I had known that he knew the gender of our child. This is not the Shukumar I married. He used to be so loving and sensitive. I know that pain changes people. I mean, I've changed too, but the Shukumar I used to know would have never done something like that to me. How much does he hate me to do such a thing to me? I mean, I never wanted to hurt him, that’s why I played that game in the first place, but he clearly doesn’t care about me anymore. I'd just hoped that he might figure out that I'd wanted to tell him, yet he was completely clueless. Even a few months ago, Shukumar would have noticed instantly if something was wrong… I really wanted to tell him everything on the first night, but I couldn’t.
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Hey Lara, could you please post the second two parts as separate notebook entries, so I can correct them easier? ;)
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third (last) part: Sure, it wasn’t very healthy for me to immerse myself in all this work to be occupied 24/7, but at least I didn’t live on someone else’s expense. I mean he is the man and he didn’t behave like that ever since at all. Ugh, I sound like my mother. To be honest, I don’t know if it was his fault that it ended like this. I know that I’m not perfect and that I made mistakes too… but what he did is not excusable. I did not want to know the truth and I wish I could just forget what he told me. I think he already started to hate me when he heard that our son is dead. Maybe he blames me for the death of our child. And maybe he wanted me to go too. We both knew that we weren’t happy and a marriage shouldn’t be like that. I’m aware that it’s not always easy, but for half a year we were practically strangers. I did the right thing. Shukumar is such a coward and he lived his cosy life on my cost, he would have never ended it. I did the right thing for both of us. I cannot keep on living my life like this. Everything will be different from now on.
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second part: And I know that is wrong to let him kiss me and that we ended up having sex that one night, but I thought maybe something would change after this. I was so stupid to really think this. Of course nothing changed. Anyways, I physically could not make myself say these words on the first night. But he instead did not hesitate a single moment to tell me the last thing on earth that I wanted to know. How could he held our dead son in his arms in the first place without letting me know the whole time? I mean he wasn’t even there when I got into the hospital… What kind of husband does that? I remember that he told me that his stupid conference is soo important and sure, I said that he should go, but is it really that hard to understand that sometimes yes means no? I didn’t want to sound like one of those wives who stand in the way of their husband’s career, but of course I wanted him to be at home. He should have been there when it happened. Even that is unforgiveable, but he never spoke to me about that. He never apologized. All this time I felt like he did not understand me at all. But how should he? He did not carry a piece of himself for nine months within him. I never expected him to understand, but it did not seem like he genuinely cared about me after it happened. He did not make an effort to talk to me about it, ask me how I feel or comfort me like he did before everything changed. I really would have needed that. I know that it was hard for him to deal with the grief, I don’t want to sound like a bitch, but it wasn’t the same for him as it was for me. Our son died inside of me, not him. A piece of me died when he died. But instead of being there for me Shukumar couldn’t wait to move into his room. I know that it was his way to escape from being near to me, but how could he be in the room that my son should have slept in all the time? No wonder he became this depressed and didn’t do anything all day.

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