please amend this essay,i canont expertly write english grammar.
this is a common phenomenon that more and more people perfer to soak in the virtual world rather than socializing in the real world. With the development of technology and Internet,the virtual world has been become more and more glamouring,which prompted people,especially young people,addicted in the virtual world.
From my standpoint of view,people spend more time in the virtual world will diminish people's real socialization and lead people to wrong road ,even be a hysteric.Virtual world is not real life ,if we addicted in it ,we might will become desolate and apathy.The sociaty will be disorder,creazy even in sick.Human is social animal and need ti communicate with others and tell others what i'm thinking,virtual world just a via to attain information not a real world.
In a word,real life is better than virtual world .we need to touch flowers ,water and feel the season's change rather than click the mouse and stare at the cold screen.
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Corrections · 3
1
Instead of correcting your writing why don't I just highlight wrong words and you fix the errors.
sp= spelling error
ww= wrong word or bad choice of words
gram=grammar error
All of your sentences that DO NOT start with a capital letter are wrong.
please amend this essay,i canont(sp) expertly write english(sp) grammar.
this is a common phenomenon that more and more people perfer(sp) to soak(ww) in the virtual world rather than socializing(ww) in the real world. With the development of technology and Internet,the virtual world has been become more and more glamouring(ww),which prompted(gram) people,especially young people,addicted(gram) in the virtual world.From my standpoint of view,people(gram) spend more time in the virtual world will diminish people's real socialization and lead people to(gram) wrong road ,even be(gram) a hysteric(ww).Virtual world is not real life ,if we addicted in it ,we might will become desolate and apathy.The sociaty(sp) will be disorder(ww),creazy(sp) even in sick(ww)(gram).Human is social animal and(gram) need ti(sp) communicate with others and tell others what i'm(ww) thinking,virtual world (just a via(ww)) to attain information not a real world.
In a word,real life is better than virtual world .we need to touch flowers ,water and feel the season's change rather than click the mouse and stare at the cold screen.
0
Great!
You are appreciated for your courageous act.
Dear Mr. Dawei Zhijiage has punctually corrected wrong words, spelling errors, and grammatical errors .
I only suggest that , Your topic should hook people.
I suggest the following topic :
Virtual World vs The Real Word
0
please amend this essay,i canont expertly write english grammar.
this is a common phenomenon that more and more people perfer to soak in the virtual world rather than socializing in the real world. With the development of technology and Internet,the virtual world has become more and more glamouring,which prompted people,especially young people,addicted to the virtual world.From my standpoint of view,people spend more time in the virtual world will diminish people's real socialization and lead people to a wrong road ,even be a hysteric.Virtual world is not real life ,if we are addicted to it ,we might will become desolated and pathetic.The society will be in a disorder,crazy even in sickness.Human is a social animal and needs to communicate with others and tell others what he is thinking, the virtual world just a visa to attain information not a real world.
In a word,real life is better than virtual world .we need to touch flowers ,water and feel the season's change rather than click the mouse and stare at the cold screen.
Ps : I like your style keep going .
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