Search from various English teachers...
Japan flagKoko
Essay for TOEFL(English test) Question; “ When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success.” Do you agree or disagree with the question above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position. People who want to succeed will work very hard to make it happens. I disagree with the provided statement because a luck is an important factor for success. The definition of success depends on people. Some people think when they became rich, it means they succeed. On the other hand, some people think when they achieve their goals, it is a success for them. I believe that hardworking will bring luck to people who want to succeed. While you are not working hard and not ready for success, you will not be able to take a chance. The important thing to succeed is getting ready to get a chance and then take a certain action. For example, when you want to start your own business, it is very important to meet a person who wants to support your idea and gives you funds. He may want to give you some beneficial advice and help you to expand your networking which accelerates your business growing faster. While you are working hard to get a chance and use the chance in a proper way, it will increase your chance to succeed. My goal is to pursue my profession at graduate school and gain working experience in the USA. To make this happens, I have been working and studying hard to get ready when I get a chance. Before you get a chance, there are many things you have to do. To succeed in college, you need to make enough money for tuition and keep your grades high. After you did all the hard work, you will be able to get into your dream college. Grades and other materials can be enhanced by your hard work, but getting into your dream college is, so to speak, a luck. In all, not only hard work but also luck are vital to succeed. People must work hard to get ready and then when a chance comes, you need to get it.

Corrections · 9

1


People who want to succeed will work very hard to make it happens. I disagree with the provided statement because a luck is an important factor for success. The definition of success depends on people. Some people think when they became rich, it means they succeed. On the other hand, some people think when they achieve their goals, it is a success for them.

I believe that hardworking will bring luck to people who want to succeed. While When you are not working hard and not you won't be ready for success. You will not be able to take a chance. The important thing to succeed is getting ready for opportunities.  to get a chance And then take a certain action. For example, when you want to start your own business, it is very important to meet a person people who wants to support your idea and gives you funding. He may want to give you some beneficial They can give good advice and help you to expand your networking which accelerates your business growth. growing faster. While you are working hard to get a chance and use the chance in a proper way, it will increase your chance to succeed.] [Sorry, too tired to try and understand what you mean. Be sure you understand what "get a chance" means. I'm not sure, and you're using it a lot.]


My goal is to pursue my profession at graduate school and gain working experience in the USA. To make this happens, I have been working and studying hard to get ready when I get a chance. Before you get a chance, there are many things you have to do. To succeed in college, you need to make enough money for tuition and keep your grades high. After you did all the hard work, you will be able to get into your dream college. Grades and other materials can be enhanced by your hard work, but getting into your dream college is, so to speak, a luck.

In all, not only hard work but also luck are vital to succeed. People must work hard to get ready and then when a chance comes, you need to get it.

[Overall good job. I edited for clarity.]

1

Essay for TOEFL(English test)

Question;
“ When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success.” Do you agree or disagree with the question above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

People who want to succeed will work very hard to make it happens. I disagree with the provided statement because a luck is an important factor for success. The definition of success depends on people. Some people think when they became rich, it means they  *have* succeed*ed*. On the other hand, some people think *that* when they achieve their goals, it *represents*  is a success for them.

I believe that hard working will bring luck to people who want to succeed. While you are not working hard and not ready for success, you will not be able to take a chance. The important thing to succeed  for success is getting ready to get a chance and then take a certain action. For example, when you want to start your own business, it is very important to meet a person who wants to support your idea and gives you funds. He may want to give you some beneficial advice and help you to expand your networking which *could* accelerates the growth of  your business growing faster. While you are working hard to get a chance and use the chance in a proper way, it will increase your chance to succeed.

My goal is to pursue my profession at graduate school and gain working experience in the USA. To make this happens, I have been working and studying hard to get ready when I get a chance. Before you get a chance, there are many things you have to do. To succeed in college, you need to make enough money for tuition and keep your grades high. After you did  have done all the hard work, you will be able to get into your dream college. Grades and other materials can be enhanced by your hard work, but getting into your dream college is, so to speak, a *piece of* luck.

In all summary, not only hard work but also luck are is vital to succeed. People must work hard to get ready and then when a chance comes, you need to get  take it.
1

Essay for TOEFL(English test)

Question;
“ When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success.” Do you agree or disagree with the question above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

People who want to succeed will work very hard to make it happen. I disagree with the provided statement because luck is an important factor in success. The definition of success depends on the person. Some people think that when they became rich, it means they have succeeded. On the other hand, some people think that when they achieve their goals, it is success for them.

I believe that working hard  will bring luck to people who want to succeed. When you are not working hard and therefore not ready for success, you will not be able to take a chance. The important thing to succeed is getting ready to take a chance and then taking certain action. For example, when you want to start your own business, it is very important to meet a person who wants to support your idea and give you funds. He may want to give you some beneficial advice and help you to expand your network which accelerates business growth. If you are working hard and using your opportunities in a proper way, it will increase your chance of success.

My goal is to pursue my profession at graduate school and gain work experience in the USA. To make this happen, I have been working and studying hard to get ready for any opportunities that may arise. Before you get a chance, there are many things you have to do. To succeed in college, you need to make enough money for tuition and keep your grades high. After you did all the hard work, you will be able to get into your dream college. Grades and other materials can be enhanced by your hard work, but getting into your dream college is, so to speak, a luck.

In all, both hard work and luck are vital to succeed. People must work hard to be prepared and then when a chance comes, you need to get it.
0
Others have already given various examples of how to fix the finer grammar and word choice mistakes, but I am here to give you an evaluation of your English progress. First I'd like to tell you that overall it reads no worse than social media posts made by native speakers. Basically what I mean to say is that you wrote that so well, that in the right context, it could pass as something written by a native English speaker. In the United States, I'd say your proficiency is equivalent to that of an 8th or 9th grader in terms of grammar, and 10th or 11th grade in sentence structure and paragraph construction. This means that in my opinion, your on par with high school native speakers. How much weight should you put on my opinion. Not much. I'm not an English teacher, in fact I failed at English in high school. I am more proficient in English than most of my peers, in terms of speaking, reading comprehension, and vocabulary, but I am far behind my peers in spelling, tailoring my word choice to my audience, and written grammar. Also I am notorious for a run on sentences as I tend to be a bit long winded. So I need to work on making less complex sentences so that they are more manageable for my audience... So in short, what I mean to say is; I think you're English is great, but I'm not sure how much you should trust my opinion.
0
Great work, Mayuko.

Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today