Personal statement draft
My interest in computer science comes from childhood. When I was a child I liked to draw and paint, I spent hours between markers, crayons and pencils filling with draws pages and pages ... My parents bought our first computer when I was six, that new object seemed to me almost magical. I completely changed crayons by the computer. Now I regret because my drawing skills isn’t good at all, nevertheless this showed me hundreds of possibilities. The mouse, the screen, the keyboard and the computer became a hobby which did not cost me to get used. I investigated by myself little by little the possibilities offered by this extraordinary machine, since then my interest has been increasing.
Throughout my life, I had clear that I should continue studying, the university offered me a wide range of possibilities. Although what was not clear is what I want to choose. In high school I chose social sciences, so I could not choose computer science. Nothing convinced me until I had discovered the career information and Documentation, and I do not regret choosing these degree. Over the years I have learned many different and interesting things, from how to catalog and organize a library, repair a damaged book, recovery and creating databases to maintaining a scientific blog. Last year I had made a blog dedicated to weather issues, it was a pleasant experience. I really had really enjoyed it, therefore I knew that this was what I wanted dedicate myself professionally. The next step was to learn the basics for web pages, and I could research my objective. I'm very perseverant and hard-working, moreover when I want something I do not stop until I get it. That's my goal and I plan to get it, and if I want to work in this, I need to improve my skills in the design and management of content. This master is what I need to complete my training. The University of Greenwich has all the characteristics I look for a university. It has prestige, excellent location, next to the south of the Thames. I’m very interested in London discover new places. Unfortunately, I had not traveled since 2008, and if I am admitted to the master, it will help me to be more independent, outgoing, and maybe the most important, financially independent of my parents. I honestly feel that I have the qualifications needed for the master, I have good honors in degree, I’m good in teamwork, and I can assure that I’m very motivated to start a new life in London.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 3
1
Personal statement draft
My interest in computer science comes from childhood. When I was a child I liked to draw and paint, I spent hours between markers, crayons and pencils filling with draws pages and pages pages and pages with drawings... My parents bought our first computer when I was six, and that new object seemed to me almost magical to me. I completely changed from using crayons by to using the computer. Now I regret this because my drawing skills isn’t aren't good at all. Nevertheless, this showed me hundreds of possibilities. Using all the components of the computer: The mouse, the screen, the keyboard and the computer became a hobby which did not cost me to get used. I investigated by myself, little by little, the possibilities offered by this extraordinary machine, and ever since then my interest has been increasing.Throughout my life, I had clear knew for certain that I should continue studying, and the university offered me a wide range of possibilities, although what was not clear is what I wanted to choose. In high school I chose social sciences, so I could not choose computer science. Nothing convinced interested me until I had discovered the career information and Documentation, and I do not regret choosing these degree. Over the years, I have learned many different and interesting things, from how to catalog and organize a library, repair a damaged book, and even how to recovery and creating databases to maintaining a scientific blog. Last year I had made a blog dedicated to weather issues, it was a pleasant experience. I really had really enjoyed it, therefore I knew that this was what I wanted dedicate myself professionally. The next step was to learn the basics for web pages, and I could research my objective. I'm very perseverant and hard-working, moreover when I want something I do not stop until I get it. That's my goal and I plan to get it, and if I want to work in this, I need to improve my skills in the design and management of content. This master is what I need to complete my training. The University of Greenwich has all the characteristics I look for a university. It has prestige, excellent location, next to the south of the Thames. I’m very interested in London discover new places. Unfortunately, I had not traveled since 2008, and if I am admitted to the master, it will help me to be more independent, outgoing, and maybe the most important, financially independent of my parents. I honestly feel that I have the qualifications needed for the master, I have good honors in degree, I’m good in teamwork, and I can assure that I’m very motivated to start a new life in London.
I could only critique the first part of your entry (my corrections were too long- I'm sorry!)
Things marked in blue are suggestions.
Overall, great job!
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
