I want this article to be beautiful,not just without syntax errors. Before ill, I was spoiled by my parents and acted like an overlord at home .Once i was isolated and confined to a small house on the

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Jolin

I want this article to be beautiful,not just without syntax errors. Before ill, I was spoiled by my parents and acted like an overlord at home .Once i was isolated and confined to a small house on the hillside of the garden,i suddenly felt like being in limbo and was very frustrated.One spring evening with all flowers in the garden bloomed together,my parents held a garden party .A crowd of guests gathered,chatting and laughing.In the small house on the hillside,I quietly lifted the curtain,only to see a prosperous world in the garden with my old brothers and sisters and my cousins walking among the guests,bursting with happiness.All at once,the loneliness and grief came in waves so that I couldn’t help crying.

Corrections · 3

red=mistakes that need to be corrected=写错了，得改一改

blue=sounds better=听起来更好

green=my comments=注释

I want this article to be beautiful, not just free from syntax errors.

Before I became ill, OR: "Before my illness" OR "Before becoming ill" I was spoiled by my parents and acted like an overlord a tyrant at home. Once I was isolated and confined to a small house on the a hillside of in the our garden, I suddenly felt like being as if I were in limbo and was very frustrated. One meaning of "feel like" is "want": "I feel like ice cream"="I want ice cream". So, "feel like being" means "I want to be". "I feel like being a mother" means "I want to be a mother", not "I am having the feelings that a mother would have". Instead, we use the conditional mood: "I feel as if I were". One spring evening with when all the flowers in the garden were blooming together, my parents held a garden party. A crowd of guests gathered, chatting and laughing. In the small house on the hillside, I quietly lifted the curtain, only to see a prosperous world in the garden, where with my older brothers and sisters and my cousins walked among the guests, bursting with happiness. "with" seemed slightly 口语。 All at once, the loneliness and grief came over me in waves, and so that I couldn’t help crying.

I want this article to be beautiful,not just without syntax errors.

Before ill, I was spoiled by my parents and acted like an overlord at home .Once i was isolated and confined to a small house on the hillside of the garden,i suddenly felt like being in limbo and was very frustrated.One spring evening with all flowers in the garden bloomed together,my parents held a garden party .A crowd of guests gathered,chatting and laughing.In the small house on the hillside,I quietly lifted the curtain,only to see a prosperous world in the garden with my old brothers and sisters and my cousins walking among the guests,bursting with happiness.All at once,the loneliness and grief came in waves so that I couldn’t help crying.

>> Before my illness, I have always been spoiled by my parents and acted like an overlord at home. So, when I was isolated from them and confined to a small house on a hillside next to our garden to convalesce , I immediately felt like I was being neglected and was very frustrated about it. ( Have been > You may still be spoilt by them after you have recovered)

One spring evening, with all the flowers in the garden blooming, my parents held a garden party. A crowd of guests had gathered, chatting and laughing. In the small house on the hillside overlooking the garden below, I quietly lifted the window curtain, only to see a lively party atmosphere building up in the garden, with my older brothers and sisters and my cousins walking among the guests, bursting with happiness.

All at once, the feeling of loneliness and sadness came in waves and overwhelmed me till I couldn’t help but to cry.

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