A Thesis

Part 2 of 2

In comparison, in France, nuclear power, had been expanded dramatically, from providing only 25 units out of  90 units in 1980, to 126 units out of 180 units in 2000 as it became the major source for producing electricity. While the amount of coal and oil transformed into electricity remained roughly constant, from 25 units to 25 units and 20 units to 25, both natural gas and hydro power, at only 2 units each in 2000, have been almost completely removed from the whole structure as a fuel source.

Overall, it is plainly evident that Australia and France had relied on different fuel sources to generate their electricity: Coal and hydro power were the main sources for Australia, while nuclear power was the main artery in the power system of France.

*Australia's extensive, low-cost coal and natural gas reserves have historically used as strong arguments for avoiding nuclear power, and it currently has only one small research reactor, hence, no electrical power can be generated by nuclear power.

Good job! It was easier to just rewrite your draft and show you, than to tell you my opinions about structure and fluency. Now, as you can see, info about each country is in its own paragraph. Mixing them as done in your draft was confusing and I did not know which country you were talking about without looking at the chart and seeing the numbers. Also, both chart years are in the past, so some of the "tenses" were incorrect.  *I, myself, was curious as to why Australia had no electricity from nuclear power and paraphrased the above from a  BBC 2006 on-line article. I hope this helps you. J.

A Thesis

It's my homework for my English class. I am an undergraduate in China. I am asking everyone here for there opinions regarding article structure and the fluency of the sentences. Thanks in advance to everyone!

The chart above illustrates the different sources behind the generation of electrical power in Australia and France from 1980 to 2000. As measured in units, Australia's output had increased by 70 units, while France's neatly doubled to 180 units. Thus, it can be argued that the total production of electricity in both countries has approximately doubled over that 20 year period.

The main source of electrical power in Australia in 1980 was produced through coal, and the quantity of power had increased since that time, from 50 units then, to 130 units in 2000. Correspondingly, the amount of electricity generated by oil and natural gas had been drastically reduced to just 2 units each in 2000, in contrast to the 10 and 20 units, respectively, produced in 1980. Over those decades, electricity generated as a result of hydro power almost doubled from 20 units to 36 units. Viewed as a whole, those latter three sources, while producing, in total, less that a quarter of the total electrical units in 2000, still represented important sources of Australia's electricity. The amount of electrical power generated by nuclear power in Australia had been zero throughout those years.

Part 1 of 2