Search from various English teachers...
China flagKIKI
IELTS WRITING TOPIC: Some people think that a sense of competitioINGn in children should be encouraged.Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Children are always the most important generation in the country who will decide the countries’ future.How to teach younger people has been paid more and more attention to.While,people had two opinions about education “competition” and “co-operation” Having a sense of competition to face today’s knowledge-based economy is very necessary.In most places,resources are less than before.In particular,job opportunities.As you can see,nowadays workforce has been replaced by computers and robots.Therefore,unless children are excellent at one or some parts or better than others it will be impossible for them to find a job.In this case,expand competition spirit are in a hurry.In addition,when human are in the competition,this environment always can give then stress which can let them work hard and this will definitely help them achieve their goal. However,too strong sense of competition has disadvantages which will make children to be selfish and do not know how to share .So,co-operation is also very important.Working together could help children develop social skills such as communication skills and team spirit.They need to work together to achieve the goal so in this process they would reach their potential and work closely with their team members.Another part i would like to mention is teamwork are always more effectively than personal work because everyone have their own advantages when they co-operate they can learn from each other and expand their minds,update their skills and broaden their knowledge. In short,having a sense of competition and co-operate are both very important.Young generation need to achieve a balance of them and to develop themselves,finish their dreams.

Corrections · 3

1

IELTS WRITING

 

...

However,too strong sense of competition being too competitive has disadvantages which will make children to be selfish and do not knowing how to share. So,co-operation is also very important. Working together could can help children develop social skills such as communication skills and team spirit.They need to work together to achieve the goal so in this process they would reach their potential and working closely with their team members. Another part consideration I would like to mention is teamwork are is always more effective than personal individual work (that is usually but not always true) because everyone have has their own advantages, and when they co-operate they can learn from each other and expand their minds, update their skills and broaden their knowledge.

In short, having a sense of competition being competitive and cooperating are both very important. The young generation needs to achieve a balance of these, and to develop themselves, finish and to attain their dreams.

1

IELTS WRITING

TOPIC: Some people think that a sense of competition in children competitiveness should be encouraged in children. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. (I guess you copy-pasted the question, but it is better this way)
Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Children are always the most important generation in the any country who because they will decide the country’s future. How to teach younger people has been paid given more and more attention to. (you could use 'paid to' if you reorganised the sentence starting 'more and more') While People have two differing opinions about education focussing on “competition” and “co-operation”

Having a sense of competition is very necessary to face today’s knowledge-based economy is very necessary. In most places, there are less resources/opportunities are less than before. In particular, job opportunities. As you can see, nowadays the workforce has been is being replaced by computers and robots, therefore, unless children are excellent outstanding at one or other specialisation/field some parts or better smarter than others, it will be impossible for them to find a job. In this case,expand building a competitive spirit is urgent/essential are in a hurry. In addition, when humans compete/are in the competition, this creates a pressure environment always can give then stress which can let cause them to work hard and this will definitely help them achieve their goals.

 

(It's too long to do in one go ...)

Punctuation - a space is need after comma, fullstop...


0
This topic is very good. In korea, we have the same problem. Children are very stressful because they have to win all the time. Their classmates are not friends but rivals. They spend their time only to get good report cards at school. I'm sorry they can't enjoy their own lives. I think we should change education system as soon as we can.

Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today