Exercise

Exercise has a lot of benefits . Doing exercise is the most desirable thing for me. I think civilized nations are interested in it. In order to work better, look well,and strengthen your bones ,  you need to do exercise.The first benefit of working out it make you feel better . It keeps you active If you are  a pupil ,  man ,woman, old, or young .whatever your age, it makes you active. It helps your mind ,body and soul produce energy and thinking well  and that why you should exercise.

what do you think about it??

It's really not bad but some words are not needed for this paragraph.

WE DONT USE

"PUPIL"

"LOOK WELL"

"THINKING WELL"

You were also dragging sentence with the same word.

It keeps you active If you are  a pupil ,  man ,woman, old, or young .whatever your age, it makes you active.

Do not have to repeat the same words in the same sentence. 

End your paragraph with the introduction of the paragraph.

INTRO:

Exercise has a lot of benefits 

ENDING:

And that why you should exercise

                        OR                        

And that why exercising  have a lot of benefits.

Exercise

Exercise has a tremendous amount of benefits . Doing exercise is the most desirable thing for me. I think civilized nations are interested in it so that one can be more productive,  look well, and strengthen their bones.  The first benefit is it makes you more efficient at work . It keeps you active whether you are a student , a man or a woman, old or young.   It helps the mind and body stay physically fit in order to be productive and maintain a positive outlook.  

your body and mind produce energy= productive, makes you energetic.

thinking well=positive outlook

What do you think about it?

Answer:

-It is necessary for your body.  

Exercise

Exercise has a lot of benefits. Doing it is the most desirable thing for me. I think civilized nations are interested in it in order to work better, look well and strengthen your bones. The first benefit makes your work better and keeps you active. If you are a pupil, a man, a woman, old, young , whatever your age, it makes you active. It helps your body and mind produce energy and thinking well.

what do you think about it?? It's great!