Daily writing
Yesterday, I worked at event hall in department store. The event is called ' 2016 Spring season fashion invitation'. My position was styling team for VVIP. I retouched makeup for the VVIP women who are set up for photoshooting service. I was thinking while touch with my brush on reacher women's faces ' Is she born under a lucky star or does she live in comfort because of her desperate effort?'.
For what I usually do for living, I suppose to visit various levels of house in Korea. I can see many kind of lifestyle , concept of people's family relationship, ways to living and etc indirectly. The posh group from yesterday, compare with normal group I usually visit, overall atmosphere was easy and graceful with little bluff.
A question came across my mind ' The women look so calm without trouble for survive even they do nothing. Is the best way to live? Is the final aim for every women live life to the full?'.
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Daily writing
Yesterday, I worked at the event hall in a department store. The event was called ' 2016 Spring season fashion invitation'. My position was (1)on the styling team for (2)VVIP. I retouched makeup for the VVIP women who were setting up for a photoshooting service. I was thinking while touch with my brush on (3)reacher women's faces ' Is she born under a lucky star or does she live in comfort (4) because of her desperate effort?'.(5) For what I usually do for a living, I suppose to visit various levels of house in Korea. I can indirectly see many kinds of lifestyles , (6)many concepts of familial relationships, and many ways of living. (7)The posh group from yesterday, compare with normal group I usually visit, overall atmosphere was easy and graceful with little bluff.
(8)A question came across my mind ' The women look so calm without trouble for survive even though they do nothing. Is the best way to live? Is the final aim for every women live life to the full?'
(1) "I'm on the basketball team." = "I'm a member of the basketball team."
(2) Maybe VVIP is a Konglish term? In English it's always VIP (Very important person). It could also be an English word I've never heard.
(3) ?? Maybe 'each of the'
(4) In English we would usually say 'because she works so hard' (at least I think this is what you mean). Desperate effort is more ambiguous.
(5) I don't know exactly what you mean with this sentence, so it's hard to correct. But, I think you might mean 'In my everyday work, I visit the homes of people of different social classes.'
(6) Parallel structure: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/623/01/
(7)'The posh group from yesterday, compared with the average group I usually visit, had an overall atmosphere which was easy and graceful with little bluff.' (This means the posh group was easy and graceful with little bluff. Is that right?)
(8)There are many things here we could improve including style as well as grammar. It would be difficult to discuss each point, so let me show you a good alternative:
A question came into my mind. 'Is this the best way to live? Freed from the need to struggle for their own survival, these women look so calm and indolent. Is the final aim for every women live life to the fullest?'
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