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just a poem I tried to write in chinese 不要叫起来,这场恶梦束的候 恐怖不再是 的梦想不是的恶更强。 不要叫在恐惧中尖叫 血腥的眼泪 求你将拖出去。 请...不要叫。

Corrections · 5

1

I sense the emotions...

was trying to take out the fear, to win it by dream...it says the overcoming via consciousness.. that's possible and at the first place, seems. i felt that. so here is my comprehensive editing below。 Of course, poetry is everything and everything for each one;it's a soft sculpture to each soul.

Or this is only trying to say...please dont kill my dreams!:) Anyway, a good training in words:))

 

 

不要叫起来,这场恶梦束的候。。。。。。 不要叫起来, 当这场噩梦结束的时候
恐怖不再是 。。。。。。。。。。。。。。恐怖不再有
的梦想不是的恶更强 。。。。。。。。。。梦想不存恶更强

不要叫在恐惧中尖叫 。。。。。。。。。。不要在恐惧中尖叫
血腥的眼泪 。。。。。。。。。。。。。。那血腥的泪
求你将拖出去 。。。。。。。。。。。。。求你将其拖出去

请...不要叫 。。。。。。。。。。。。。。请......

  。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。.不要叫

 

I like the strong emotions in this and the ryhthm.

 

 

1

just a poem I tried to write in chinese

不要叫,这场恶梦结束的时候
恐怖已不再 
梦想还在。

不要在恐惧中尖叫
无助的眼泪
流出来。

请...不要叫。

0

just a poem I tried to write in chinese

不要叫我起来,这场恶梦结束的时候
恐怖不再是
的梦想不是的,恶更强。

不要叫在恐惧中尖叫
血腥的眼泪
求你将它拖出去。

请...不要叫。

0

just a poem I tried to write in chinese

不要叫起来,这场恶梦束的候
恐怖不再是
的梦想不是的恶更强。

不要叫在恐惧中尖叫
血腥的眼泪
求你将拖出去。

请...不要叫。

 

Hats off to you in your endeavor.  I suggest you provide an English version so that we can help you articulate the nuances in Chinese or to show you a better way :)

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