please... help me is by my class
It was a could dark October night, James and Sarah were walking nervously in the countryside when suddenly a big bear went out of a tree they were face a face with the big animal, but they could not run, Their legs were trembling with fear. When Sarah went out of the shock she grabbed the hand to James and They started running by the dark night Their face were white as a paper. They were sitting under a tree. James said: "Thanks Sarah" , and the answer of Sarah was a smile and she said: " James, you are the most important in my life". They touched their hands, but the fear was greater with the minutes and hours. The sounds in the night were stronger, these sounds came from many animals very dangerous.
Their bodies trembling with fear and the night has not end. They didn't know that the bear was still there, when suddenly the bear bit him hand, James was very bad because he lost a lot of blood, the bear disappeared because he hear a shot; Sarah takes off his jacket and put it in the hand of James to decrease hemorragea.
The next morning very early are found by a rescue group, They carry to James and Sarah to the hospital.
Doctor tells James that his hand will not have mobility, James takes a few months to recover emotionally and succeeds with the help of Sarah.
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please... help me, It is for my class.
It was a cold and dark October night. James and Sarah were walking nervously in the countryside when suddenly a big bear went out of a tree. They were face to face with the big animal, but they could not run. Their legs were trembling because of the fear. When Sarah got out of the shock, she grabbed James' hand They started running in the dark night, Their faces were white as a paper.They were sitting under a tree when James said: "Thanks Sarah" , and Sarah answered with a smile and then she said: " James, you are the most important thing in my life". They touched their hands, but the fear was greater grew with the minutes and the hours. The sounds in the night were stronger louder, these sounds came from many animals that were very dangerous.
Their bodies were trembling with fear and the night has did not end. They didn't know that the bear was still there, when suddenly the bear bit James' hand. James was in great danger because he had lost a lot of blood. The bear disappeared because he heard a shot. Sarah took off her jacket and put it on James' hand to decrease the hemorragea.
The next morning,very early , they were found by a rescue group, who had to carry James and Sarah to the hospital.
Doctor said to James that his hand will loose the mobility. James took a few months to recover emotionally and succeded with the help of Sarah.
Las palabras que añadí
Las cosas que cambié
Las cosas que quité
notas:
¡Lo has hehco muy bien! Te recomiendo que practiques el tiempo pasado y el futuro de los verbos, especialmente de aquellos que son irregulares como "take". Al igual, añadí algunos puntos y comas donde deberían ir para que mejorar un poco la redacción. ¡Mucha suerte! Si algún día tienes una duda, no dudes en mandarme un mensaje.
Saludos
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