The Effect of Music on My Life

Music can set and change our mood. Some music can make us relaxed and some of them can stimulate us. Lyrics of music may consist of reach deep or superficial content, and in my opinion, the content of music is very important. Recent years have been seen appearance of new music’s style that in my view much of them were not successful. New music styles have been created in recent years which, in my view, have not been successful.

My favorite music is wide and I enjoy a broad range of music; I listen to classical, pop and rap music. When I was at in high school, I used to listen to classical music during study of while studying computational subjects and I think it helps which seemed to help me to concentrate. In our culture, lyrics of classical music most of time are usually from famous poets like Mevlana Rumi and Hafez, whom their  whose poems has enrichment are rich in content form of mysticism and love; so they drive me to their universe. It was so weird for me that I could make this deep contact connection with these this music by despite the great gulf in time. Unfortunately, lyrics are becoming to too superficiality and they do not have strong content although we can find some great music these days that have has valuable content.

corrections

suggestions (but not incorrect)

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The Effect of Music on My Life

Music can set and change our mood. Some music can make us relaxed and some of them can stimulate us. Lyrics of music may consist of reach deep or superficial content, and in my opinion, the content of music is very important. Recent years have been seen appearance of new music’s style that in my view much of them were not successful. New music styles have been created in recent years which, in my view, have not been successful.

I enjoy a broad range of music; I listen to classical, pop and rap music. When I was in high school, I used to listen to classical music while studying computational subjects which seemed to help me to concentrate. In our culture, lyrics of classical music are usually from famous poets like Mevlana Rumi and Hafez, whose poems are rich in content of mysticism and love; they drive me to their universe. It was so weird that I could make this deep connection with this music despite the great gulf in time. Unfortunately, lyrics are becoming too superficial, although we can find some great music these days that has valuable content.

Dear Pedram,

My corrections/ suggestions are only my opinion based on what I know of standard written American English.  Feel free to ask any questions.  

Your use of "in my opinion"/ "in my view" is not necessary. Both of your statements are opinions.  

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I am listening to Shardad Rohani's "Ozra Dance". Actually, I have been listening to it quite obsessively for the past few days.  It has completely altered my mood. 

First of all, your written English is quite good; for I can understand and able to make the correction.  Your ideas and reasoning flow smoothly.  This is to be expected from an intellect such as you and that thoughts are independent from language.

We all make grammar or spelling mistakes, even by native speakers.  Hence we have things like proof reading etc. The changes that I made are to show you how to express more eloquently.  You have the basic grasp of the language.  However, pardon my French, your language mechanics such as using punctuation or the lack of use, sucks.  You need to pay more attention because from what I gathered in our correspondence, most of your writing are done in a formal and academic style such as writing resumes, formal requests etc.  These are of different nature than informal ones.  Formal writing shows your station and intellect.  Your superiors such as professors, bosses demand a certain level from you.

My advice is to read more on everything that may interest you and including those that you don't really like.  Writing for different purposes requires special techniques.  You should concentrate more on technical, business and creative writing.  Other specialized writing such as resume, script writing can wait until time calls for them.

The Effect of Music on My Life

Music can set and change our mood. Some music can make us relax and some of them others can stimulate our senses into frenzy. Lyrics, to me is an extremely of music may consist of reach or superficial content be and in my opinion [not wrong but rather too stiff and formal in this context] contents of music is a very important part of it. Recent years have been seen an emergence appearance of new music’s styles that in my view much of them were which are not soulful to my ears successful. [successful can also mean financially wise]

My favorite range of music is wide and - I listen to classical, pop and even rap music. When I was at in high school, I used to listen to classical music during my studies, especially those of a computational subject nature.  and I think It helps me to concentrate. In our my culture, lyrics of classical traditional music [Classical music in the general sense means those of Beethoven, Mozart etc and does not contain words.] most of time are usually taken from lines of from famous poets like Mevlana Rumi and Hafez.  whom their poems has enrichment content form mystic and love Their words are so deep and profound that they drive lift me unto [using old English here gives more elegance than "into" since you are using poets of long ago] their universe. It was is so weird amazing for me that I could make this deep contact with these music connection separated by the great gulf in of time. Unfortunately, lyrics are become to of today are so superficial; but then,  ity and they not have strong content although we can find some great music these days that have valuable content some gems do pop now and then.

Since you asked me about your English assessment, I shall be frank.  My comments will appear in the next correction box.

Music can set and change our mood. Some music can make us relax and some music can stimulate us. The lyrics of music may consist of meaningful or superficial content and, in my opinion, the content of music is very important. Recent years have seen the appearance of new musical styles, many of which, in my view, have not been successful. 

My favorite music is widely varied: I listen to classical, pop and rap music. When I was in high school, I used to listen to classical music while studying technical subjects and I think it helped me to concentrate. In our culture, the lyrics of classical music are usually from famous poets like Mevlana, Rumi and Hafez, whose poems have enriching content about mysticism and love. These poems drive me to their universe. It was so weird for me to make a deep connection with this music. Unfortunately, lyrics are becoming too superficial and do not have strong content, although we can find some great music these days that has valuable content.